Slow down to a saunter

There’s always somewhere to be, something to do, someone to run around after.

As we head into a Bank Holiday weekend there’s opportunity for most of us to slow down, to read a book, cook a meal, go for a stroll. Slowing down, taking time to rest requires planning in our house, to create time for taking care of yourself, or space for creativity and inspiration. We have made some plans, some other things have taken over and imposed themselves on our time but there is a bit of time left for relaxation and recuperation.

Friday will be #bellringing based with both virtual (twice) and real ringing. Saturday I should be at a Central Council meeting but an opportunity arose to spend some time with R, and that trumps everything; we’re going to the Food & Drink Festival at Hampton Court Palace. That should be so much fun. Sunday is a return to all things ringing with the real thing in the morning and meetings in the afternoon/evening, with a bit of housework in between.

Bank Holiday Monday is the only day we don’t have anything specific planned. #bellringing practice has been cancelled as people generally like to have the freedom to go out or see family. I have designated this “go slow day”, the day put aside for reading, cooking and generally only doing things I want to do rather than have to do.

One way Tonya Leigh, my current indulgence podcast, suggests to help us slow down is to consider the following:

Write down all your obligations, cooking, cleaning, work, laundry, activities, everything
Go through each item on the list and ask if it is necessary. Would the world end if it didn’t happen today?
Imagine not doing each item on the list and notice how your body responds. Do you relax? Do you feel lighter?

Sometimes, I might feel more stressed at the thought of things building up. They’ve got to be done at some point and is it better to get it done and out of the way, freeing up time afterwards, or to put it off now, enjoy the free time now knowing that you’ll have to do it later anyway. Is is a false sense of security?

What do you do to help you slow down?

14 ways to leisurely hustle

Listening to a podcast on self-image, the narrator offers ideas to help make more time for what’s important, how to cultivate more time and fun in your life for leisure. In the current busy, busy world sometimes it’s hard to take time out to rejuvenate. The fourteen ways offered were:

1) focus on today – have a vision for the future but it all comes back to what you do today. What can you do today that your future self would be proud of?

2) create structure and systems – create space for clarity and focus whilst leaving more time to play.

3) Batch to relax – set times for different tasks like responding to emails, or scheduling personal appointments all on the same day to get them over and done with, have set times to check social media so it doesn’t take over and make you less efficient.

4) Have clear working hours – if you can create your own schedule and be unavailable for socials during working days and unavailable for work during social days. Make sure you turn off the work you in order to turn on the leisure you.

5) Take proper breaks – whether for lunch or throughout your day take time to refresh.

6) Create a beautiful workspace – organise your space, will it with inspirational items, quotes, pictures, and if appropriate, fresh flowers and luxurious scents and music. It helps lift your mood and makes you more productive.

7) Find your happy place – somewhere to nourish yourself and reset. Could be a coffee shop, a park bench or a particular space in your home. Make sure you visit it at least once a week.

8) Stop saying “I don’t have time” and “I’m too busy” – this only creates chaos and scarcity. You get to choose how to spend your time and prioritise what you want to do.

9) Design your day the night before – review tomorrow’s to do list the night before, get things out ready, get your clothes out the night before.

10) Get your beauty sleep – reclaim your life and get to bed early to maximise rest and recuperation.

11) Make health a priority – often this is the first thing to be neglected when you’re time poor. Those who work out before work or exercise during the day are more likely to have better general moods.

12) Schedule education time – cultivate a beautiful mind, indulge in art, language, culture. Schedule time and make sure you show up.

13) Have a non-work passion – makes you more interesting, gives you a creative outlet.

14) Schedule a vacation – stop making excuses, reclaim your power, delight in travel and new experiences, new cultures, take time to rest. Doesn’t need to be a grand tour, a weekend break is just as valuable.

The idea is not to thrash through all of these all at the same time, but leisurely meander, giving in to your leisure hustle, making time for you.

What is your current leisure hustle?

Natural Wellbeing

I’m reading an article in the most recent Psychologies Magazine about how regular time in nature contributes to wellbeing of mind, body and soul, and it suggests that even spending 5 or 10 minutes outdoors with nature can be beneficial in reducing anxiety and can make us feel happier.

I know that I don’t get to spend nearly enough time outside. I do try to go for a walk at lunchtime, but quite often, due to location, that around a housing estate or hospital grounds. We are fortunate that there are open fields behind the hospital and I get a move on I might just have time to go that way. I guess even in a housing estate, nature has its place in well-manicured (or even overgrown) gardens and hedgerow. You just need to look hard enough.

When we were kids we used to holiday most years in the wilds or North Wales. A beautiful spot with mountains to climb, trails to walk and forests to play in. In adult years, when we’ve been away, we’ve always had what we’ve called “long walk day”. A day put aside (hopefully with good weather) to go on a 5-10 mile trek. No distractions but the views around us. Taking in the sights and sounds of nature doing its thing.

Having to work most days means that going out for long walks or further afield is not easily achievable. However we are lucky that we have some nice park spaces quite nearby.

According to the 10 question quiz that always accompanies these articles the thing that I should find most benefit from time outdoors is grounding.

“If you crave calm or wish you feel more grounded and connect to what matters, upgrading the quality of the time you spend in nature ma provide the shift you need. It’s easy to spend time outdoors on autopilot, or use it as a way to being with others – but you’ll benefit most from spending at least some time in nature on your own, so you can tune into the stillness and connect with your inner calm. If your tendency is to live in your head, time in nature can be a much-needed way of paying attention to your physical self. Finding the ground beneath your feet may even be the first step to finding a new direction in life.

You’ll get the most benefit by focussing on the here and now as you walk. Don’t give yourself a hard time if you can’ leave your emotional baggage behind but, when you become aware that you’re caught up in thinking, direct your focus outwards by noticing the colours, textures, sounds, smells and sensations. We can all benefit from a daily grounding ritual but, for chronic over thinkers, it can be life-changing”

Like most people, I haven’t had a proper holiday for nearly a year and a half now (since summer 2019), so when we are able to, I will relish the chance to get out and have some time to wander around new places and spaces to take in the sensations.

That was the week (or 2) that was

The end of my 2 weeks annual leave has arrived. Monday morning sees the return to the office. Have I had a good holiday? Do I feel relaxed and rejuvenated?

Yes, I’ve had a good couple of weeks off, considering. I don’t particularly feel relaxed or rejuvenated thought. But I suspect that’s to do with the fact that we’re in lockdown and we can’t go anywhere or do anything or see anyone.

If we have been able to do things, I might have felt more energised. As it was, I spent most of the week not venturing far from home.

The first week I took the opportunity to undertake an online Mindfulness course. This was quite interesting and useful, but not something that I’ve suddenly found enlightenment from. It did give me some focus for a few days.

I had 7 virtual #bellringing sessions during the fortnight, some which I ran. I watched a funeral online. I attended 4 meetings and 1 virtual dinner. In between, I did some reading, played some games on my tablet and celebrated my 50^th birthday, lockdown stylee.

I did spend some time, quite purposefully, doing not a lot. C still did all the housework and cooking.

This sort of gave me an insight to what life might be like at a time when I could give up paid work completely. However, if that was the case, things would happen very differently. I would see a fair distribution of household labour. I would also probably do some form of exercise, whether down the gym or online stuff at home, or more walking at least. I would definitely do more baking and cooking. I do miss that a little bit.

I’ve had a good couple of weeks off and enjoyed not having to get up early and go to an office and get grief all day. I’m sure that feeling will be short lived when I open the office door.

The importance of nothing

Life can be so full on sometimes. Even having a week off work doesn’t really give you the rest you sometimes need. I’ve written loads, researched loads, rung loads and had several meetings during my week off so I really haven’t felt any restorative benefit.

Today though, we had nowhere to be and nothing to do. C turned the alarm clock off so we woke up naturally and didn’t actually get out of bed until nearly 10am, which is unheard of. Some might say that that’s wasting so much of the day, but waking up naturally actually made me feel more awake and alert than being ripped from slumber by a screeching radio alarm.

Saturdays have seem to have got a new ritual of bacon butties for breakfast. C cooks them whilst I’m in the shower so its ready, with my coffee, when I’m dressed and ready to face the world. So grateful for that.

Both of us then just sat for a while, reading or catching up with social media. No need to rush.

We had no reason to go into town for anything and as we’d had a late breakfast didn’t feel the need for lunch.

I did do some food prep for breakfasts and lunches for the working week ahead as Sunday is full of ringing, family Skype and virtual meetings as well as the weekly ironing fun. But once that was all finished, I could get comfy on the sofa and read.

Haven’t spent so much time dedicated to just reading for ages. A cup of mint tea with the last slice of winter spice cake made it all a bit hygge. Both of us just sat on the sofa reading. For hours. No other distractions of TV or radio. Blissful.

Some might suggest that a day was wasted and we should have done some exercise or something more constructive with our day, but I actually feel more awake and positive having taken some time to just be.

It probably helped that the book I was reading, not one of the e-shorts I had intended to, was talking about quietening inner critics and self sabotage. It was helping me understand the ways to silence the inner brain chatter and believe that I’m good enough, when so much that has been going on lately has left me feeling totally inadequate.

Benefits of doing nothing include being mentally stronger and more compassionate by having opportunities to delve deeper into innermost feelings and convictions. It helps relieve stress and help you become more rested, happier, productive, creative and allows your brain to reboot by letting thoughts settle.

My step count for the day is hardly going to break the 1000 mark but it doesn’t matter for one day. Self healing and restoration was what was needed today and I’m glad to have given it space in my life.

Kindling some e-shorts

As I’ve been on annual leave this week, one of the things that I wanted to do was some reading. Trouble is, I’ve read all the fiction books that I’ve invested in and although I have some non-fiction to wade through, felt that being on “holiday” wasn’t the best time to read those.

I haven’t downloaded a Kindle edition of a book in ages. I much prefer the physical thing to hold, turn pages and even the smell. I am also a bit OCD when it comes to collections. If there are a number of books by an author I enjoy, or a series that run together, then I have to buy all of them, and read them in order.

My favourite genre is historical fiction, most specifically Tudor period. I’ve read all the Jean Plaidy, Phillipa Gregory et al. Having most recently thoroughly enjoyed Alison Weir’s series on the Six Tudor Queens. I have the final instalment already on pre-order. I happened to be rummaging around that well known online purchasing site and came across a series of Alison Weir e-shorts. These seem to be companion stories to the Six Tudor Queens series. There are 7 e-shorts so far that relate to the first 4 books of the Tudor Queens, so one can assume that there are more to come. For £0.99 each, it was a no brainer to download the lot.

I’ve gone through the precis for each e-short and listed them in order of which main Six Tudor Queens books they sit along side so that I can, as with full series, read them in order. There appears to be 1 that sits with Katherine of Aragon, 1 that bridges that with Anne Boleyn, 1 that accompanies Anne Boleyn, 1 for Jane Seymour and 2 for Anna of Kleves.

I have a whole day with no meetings or need to be anywhere else or do anything in particular, that I can give wholeheartedly over to reading these e-shorts. Give me a nudge when dinner’s ready!

Surround sound

How often do we get an opportunity to just sit and listen, I mean REALLY listen to the sounds around us?

Both C and I were sat out our respective desks in the study, going about our business when it suddenly hit my ears there there was silence. Neither of us were speaking. At the time neither of us was hammering our keyboards or frantically clicking a mouse. But then I noticed the non-silence which actually became quite loud.

I could hear the birds twittering in the back garden, as clear as a bell. The hum from the fan on C’s PC, continual hum. The wall clock ticking, so loudly too that it beggers belief that sometimes you barely notice it at all. There was an occasional mouse click as one or other of us scrolled up whatever it was we were reading on the screen. There was a throat clearing after a glug of water. There was a chair squeaking under the pressure of shifting weight. There was an airplane outside on its way to, or from, who knows where. There was pen scratching on paper as I was making notes. There was a belly rumble and an over emphasised exhalation.

Within the space of somewhere between 5 to 10 minutes there were all these sounds surrounding me, but there was silence. Peaceful, gratifying, restorative. All of these amazing sounds that I might have missed had the radio in the kitchen been on, or had I been hammering away at documents or emails, or people talking.

Silence can provide us with so many benefits if we choose to allow them into our lives.

It can allow us to concentrate and focus, which apparently can be lost if the sound is over 80 decibels. Obviously the writer of that point has never been to a #bellringing practice where concentration is required despite the noise of the bells.

It can allow our minds to be more creative. Some eminent scientists did their best creative work after a period of solitude and quietness.

It can allow us to discover how we may improve our lives when attention is given to self awareness practices. Taking time to self reflect can help figure out what and where we want to be.

It can help relax us and reduce stress levels if we allow a period of silence.

It can affect our ability to learn. The more noise we are exposed to the worse we perform and find it harder to concentrate.

Doing nothing and remaining silent can increase productivity of new brain cells, which in turn supports greater productivity as much as tenfold.

Silence can help cultivate calmness and peacefulness when you regularly practice silence and patience.

If you are able to, I invite you to sit somewhere comfortable and just be silent for even just a few moments. Make a note of all the things that you can hear in the silence. You’ll be surprised how much surround sound there is.

Start as you mean to go on

New Years Day morning. A new year ahead that hasn’t been written yet. C made a cooked brunch. I could get used to that 😋.

This year will mark a significant birthday for me. The day this blog is uploaded will mark 50 days until I turn 50. I don’t have any issues with turning 50, it is but a number after all.

The 12 months before I turned 40 I kept a daily diary. I did think of doing something similar for the year that I turned 50 but somehow never got round to it. I guess you could say that I’ve used this blog as a sort of diary, although there’s lots that I haven’t written in a blog that I would have written in a diary.

Starting a new year and a new decade of life gives me the opportunity to start afresh and start as I mean to go on. I could get used to C cooking me breakfast every day but thats not practical or too good for my health. I could take this opportunity to establish some new habits. Start or do more of the things that I ought to do better and drop things that I should not, do less of or that self sabotage.

I read somewhere on line recently that it can take from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit and an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. Now, I’m not one for New Years resolutions, but I have 50 days to do 50 things that will have a positive habit forming effect on my life to take me into my 50s.

Where to start? Drop me some suggestions 👇

Boxing Day Brunch and embracing the Hygge

So having spoken about overindulgence of Christmas day, Boxing Day seemed much more civilised.

We had luxuriated in an epic sleep in. Having gone to bed around midnight. C had turned the alarms off, so it was lovely to wake up naturally instead of being ripped awake by a shrieking radio. Nearly 9 hours of sleep clocked up.

We had nowhere to go and nothing in particular to do, so took our time getting up, showered and dressed. C started cooking and at about 10:30 delivered a small cooked breakfast of bacon, beans, egg and toast. Just what the doctor ordered.

After a lazy morning we decided we’d go for a walk through the city centre parks. We wouldn’t be needing lunch as we were still going on brunch and yesterday’s dinner.

A 5.5m walk through the parks seemed to be precisely what half of the inhabitants of town were also doing. It was actually quite pleasant. Just the right amount of autumnal weather. Coolish but not too cold, a gentle breeze but not windy. Wrapped up against it all, and with a steady pace, we were kept warm.

I must admit at about two thirds of the way round I was starting to think my hips were aching a bit and the prospect of the road home, including the incline over the railway bridge really wasn’t helping. The thing that kept me going was getting back home for a cup of mint tea and the last mince pie.

Our walk had taken about 2 hours. I was actually worn out. I had started to think about Hygge, pronounced hooga, the Danish sense of cosiness and comfortable conviviality that gives a sense of contentment and well being. I was looking forward to snuggling under my sofa blanket, tea and mince pie in hand. Very cozy, very comfortable and very content.

Sunday slump

Sunday mornings are usually fairly active. We rarely get a lay in because we need to get to the Cathedral for #bellringing. Once we’re home again, it’s the fun that is the ironing to get done. This Sunday, we followed the usual routine and I even threw in some cake decoration as well. Then its time for lunch.

After lunch comes the slump. That time in the afternoon when you know you have a million things to get done, but just want to sit and slump. I have to be careful not to totally give into it though as I have a meeting this evening that I’m chairing so need to be awake.

I am however giving into watching some movies. This afternoon’s choice is The Theory of Everything. The biopic of Prof Stephen Hawking. I’ve seen it before but it is incredibly moving. Eddie Redmayne is absolutely incredible and I’m glad that he got to meet the great man and form a friendship, and won an Oscar for his performance.

I’m feeling very self-indulgent in watching a great film, with a cup of mint tea and scoffing some chocolates. Not quite joined the ranks of sitting on the sofa in my Pj’s, but enjoying my slump nevertheless.