Join the CASG

A hilarious article by Polly Vernon in Grazia magazine really made me chuckle. In it she launches the CASG – the Campaign Against Shit Gifts. Love it. Particularly as we seem to be falling into the chaotic mess that is Black Friday. Today’s blog runs the risk of upsetting some and making me look like a Mrs Grinch or totally ungrateful. That is absolutely not the intention, but it is intended to save time, money and effort for everyone.

As we approach that time of year again, we brace ourselves for the onslaught of poor taste, offensive, inappropriate, unwanted and downright thoughtless gifts, all in the name of Christmas. Now, I’m not trying to be Mrs Grinch here, I like a gift as well as the next person, but make it relevant to me, show me that you know who I am and what I like. Don’t give me a piece of plastic tat that has no purpose other than to collect dust and take up space in my already overcrowded house. Save yourself the time, effort and money. Just don’t buy it.

I think the all-time worst gift I ever received was a victim of the dreaded Secret Santa. I was given a comical handbell on which was written the phrase “Ring for Sex”. This was at work, from a senior colleague (let’s face it there’s nothing secret about a Secret Santa). She naturally thought it was hilarious because I ring bells. It was completely inappropriate for the workplace, and I certainly wasn’t going to take it home to show hubby. It found its way to a bin within the hour. What a waste of the other person’s money, and highly embarrassing for me to have had to open this in front of other senior colleagues and pretend to be grateful.

I don’t want to add to the “stuff” in my house, I don’t want to add to landfill or recycling. I would rather have a voucher for a meal out or an activity, or a subscription to flower deliveries or a magazine I enjoy. I don’t want book vouchers that can only be spent in bookshops when I download books from Amazon. I don’t want smellies (I’m allergic to most anyway). If you’re going to give me a voucher for £x and I’m going to give you a voucher for the same value, they’ll negate each other so what’s the point? I don’t need gifts and I don’t want others to feel obliged to get me anything. And I am very ok with that.

That said of course, I’ve undoubtedly bought my fair share of shit gifts for others who probably felt the same about what I’d bought them. And I know that I’ve bought a few items already for people this year that they haven’t asked for, may not actually want or need, but when I saw them I thought of them. So I apologise in advance for anyone who thinks the gift I got them this year was shit. Where possible I try to find things that have a use or a purpose, or that I know that person has said in the past that they wanted, and cut out the incidental stuff that’s just for the sake of padding.

C is dreadful to buy for. Outside of #bellringing he has no other hobbies, he dabbles with taking photos. He’s not into sport, or gardening, or cars, or anything else really. He has very specific requirements around camera equipment and/or #bellringing paraphernalia so he has to supply a list with links to the exact item. If there are only two things on his list, he’s only going to get two things. He doesn’t like stuff for the sake of stuff either.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful but as PV said “do us all a festival favour – step away from the novelty gift”.

Written with love and gratitude.

Style Guru

Someone (you know who you are) came over to see me today and very kindly brought me belated birthday gifts. They were brilliant, thank you. However, it was what she was wearing that got most of my attention.

It looked like she’d just had her hair done, but she professes to have coloured it at home. It looked like it had recently been cut too, but she swears not. She was wearing a fabulous coat. It was blue with white checked lines, a belt and collar. To be honest, she looked very glamourous in it, not that she doesn’t always look fab, but this was really rather special.

All the while we sat and chatted I was thinking “I want that coat”. I offered a very sincere compliment on it and how it looked on her and she told me where she’d bought it from. I’m going to google it later.

But do I need another coat? Probably not. I have several lightweight jackets. I have what I call my autumn jacket, one that is slightly thicker than but not as heavy as a winter jacket. I have a winter jacket. I have a winter coat. I have a rain coat. I have a posh long coat. I probably don’t need another one. But it did look good.

It looked good on her, but would it have looked that good on me? I don’t know. We are different body shapes, height, hair colour and skin tone, so maybe it suited her style better. Maybe I’d just look like a beached whale in it.

I’m trying to inject some colour into my wardrobe as quite a significant amount of it is black or white. I’m trying to find more stylish items rather than the functional or office style. I’m buying more things I can mix and match with other things. I’m trying to move away from the same old stuff. I did actually see a photograph of someone in a bright pink trouser suit the other day and I thought she looked fantastic. I actually felt that I wanted that suit too. Last summer I did buy a bright blue suit, which is very different for me, and I wore it to work a few times and got some really nice compliments.

I think the problem is I’m not really sure what my style is. I like comfort but I like to be smart when I’m at work. I used to wear skirts and dresses but for about 15 years or so I probably have only wore a skirt or dress a handful of times. I have some long dresses that I wear to formal dinners, but that’s all I have in the wardrobe now. Everything else is trousers. I have a long body which makes some styles impossible to wear despite the fact that they might be flattering for my girth!

I think I like an urban casual look. Something fairly soft and comfy with an occasional edge to it. I’m slowly amassing that kind of wardrobe. But every now and then I want a statement piece. Maybe the coat could be this years’ statement piece.

50 Ways to Enjoy Turning Fifty

My sister bought me this book for my birthday last week. I thought I’d better take more than a cursory look at it. It claims to have 50 ways to make this the best year EVER. The book is set out in chapters based on making the most of turning 50, planning the best year EVER, implementing the plan, treating yourself well, having fun, looking back, looking within, expressing gratitude, putting things in order, eliminating what you don’t need, giving and looking forward.

Each chapter has key questions to help you analyse yourself and figure how to make the most of turning 50, thought experiences to delve a little deeper and activities to do. It does say that you can dip in and out of the book, fast forward to the bits that most interest you and so on but being a pedant, I started at the beginning.

Way #1 Accept your age.

Thought experiment 1 asks you to make a list of people you admire who are over fifty and who are living terrific lives and make a note of what you admire about how this person is living their life. OK, so first thing is to think of people over 50 who I admire.

I’m not going to list them all here because some of them might read this and either be embarrassed or disagree. I’ve written each of them in the book. Suffice to say that it includes C, my parents and siblings, a few former work colleagues, and some ringers I know. In some cases, I admire what they have achieved over adversity. In others I admire what they’re currently doing with their lives, and if I’m honest, I’m probably a bit jealous of. Some I admire because I wish I were more like them.

The key questions were what are some benefits of turning 50? and What are you looking forward to this year?

I guess benefits might include being that little bit wiser sometimes. Having more opportunities to reflect on what I want out of life and trying to achieve a better work/life balance. Nearer to retirement age (although still some considerable way to go). Looking forward to getting to see R again. This year has been an exception and we haven’t been able to spend time together, so as soon as we can we’ll do that. Can plan for the trip that we should have had for my 50^th birthday.

Thought experiment 2: what concerns do you have about turning fifty? What challenges are you experiencing or expecting? Which of those can’t you change? What constructive actions can you take regarding that item?

I’m not really bothered about turning 50. It’s just a number. I guess ill health, or my level of unfitness is probably going to be an issue at some point. I’m feeling less tolerant of other people, which I need to reign in a bit sometimes and there are other things that I’d rather be doing with my time but have to work instead. I can’t change that for a few more years yet unless something amazing comes up, like winning the lottery.

Going Potty

During the first lockdown our daughter came back home to stay for a couple of months whilst she was furloughed. Along with her came at least a dozen pot plants. Sadly her larger ones that had to be left behind didn’t make it.

Whilst she was at ours she decided to do something constructive so undertook a free on line course about houseplants. She really got into it and every time we went for our daily exercise walk she’d talk about various types of plants and where they’re from and best suited etc. And every time we went anywhere near a shop she’d buy another plant. Even from the supermarket when doing the food shopping. Soon our house was getting over run.

For the last couple of years she’s given me plants for birthday, Christmas and Mothering Sunday. They usually come accompanied by a small piece of paper with hand written information about the plant. And some even have names. Howard the aspidistra is a firm favourite along with Monica the Japonica.

For Christmas we couldn’t spend the time together as we’d hoped so she sent our presents directly. Then she was concerned that the main present wouldn’t arrive in time so sent another one by next day delivery. Well, they both arrived in time and of course were both pot plants.

She’d even paid extra for a lovely outer pot for one of them which according to what she’d been told would be big enough. Well of course it wasn’t, but no matter, we can use it for a different plant instead.

Anyway, one of the plants already seems a bit pot bound and is distorting the shape of the pot its in, so we need to repot it.

His nibs decided that we would use our daily exercise to walk to B&Q to get some new pots and more potting compost. Sounds like a good plan. Kill two birds with one stone. It was only 2 degrees outside so I got dressed up in my big winter coat, hat, scarf and gloves.

Started off ok, nice pace, nippy around the edges but not too bad. Now B&Q isn’t exactly around the corner. The round trip there and back was 6.7 miles and took us 2 hours 22 minutes. And on the way back I was carrying the compost.

By the time we’d almost got home, my arms felt like they were going to drop off, my legs were giving up and I was actually now incredibly warm.

Just for a ruddy pot. This plant better like its new home once its been repotted. I for one can’t move now.

Someone’s trying to tell me something

I received two totally independent packages today.

One was a belated Christmas present from my brother. He had intended to be able to visit just before Christmas to deliver them in person, but the change in Covid restrictions put pay to that so he had to resort to posting. There were several little wrapped presents in the package, but one of them was a cake slice with the words “happiness is a piece of cake” written on it. 👇 Ain’t that the truth.

The next parcel to arrive was some cake decorating goodies that I’d ordered a few days ago. I don’t have any cakes to make at the moment but I was looking through some photos and came across a couple of some sprinkles pots that my friend at The Cupcake Oven uses. I’d taken photos when I was last at one of her classes to remind me of the brand name so that when I wanted to order some at a later date I’d remember. This prompted me to browse their website and, naturally one pot of sprinkles became four.

It seems rather coincidental then that two cake related items should arrive on my doorstep on the same day. And just the day after what would have my granddad’s 107th birthday (who was a master baker) and on the day that would have been my nephew’s 23rd birthday.

Perhaps someone is telling me I need to make a sparkly cake for no other reason than just because. Maybe I will at the weekend.

Overindulgence just for one day

Why is it over the Christmas period apparently its ok to eat food, snacks, drink tons of alcohol, and generally put on your own body weight in food again? Essentially, its one day. Essentially its just like having a Sunday roast. So why do we obsess over all the additional stuff?

Don’t get me wrong, I do it too. I love all the special foods that they only seem to bring out at Christmas. I could eat a whole plate of pigs in blankets. I can shovel food in my face until the point of feeling physically sick at the thought of another “wafer thin mint” (see Monty Python sketch in The Meaning of Liff).

I don’t tend to eat breakfast so Christmas morning was just a cup of coffee for me. We had to go ringing so wouldn’t have had time for much else anyway. When we got home, we had more coffee and 2 mince pies (seemingly extra large ones from the bakery stall in town) whilst we were on the family Skype. We had a 3 bird roast, enough to fed 4, and all the trimmings for lunch. We had half the meat for Christmas day and will have the other half for Sunday lunch. That was washed down with a bottle of Moet & Chandon that we’ve had for a while. Then followed by an epic chocolate orange cheesecake that I’d made. The recipe said that it made 12 servings. We’ve cut it into 6!

We have hampers of food that family members have been generous to send, and chocolates etc that people have given as gifts. I couldn’t even look at it. After such a lunch, I couldn’t eat again. I stuck to water for the rest of the day, and only at about 9pm did I have another mince pie (they need to be eaten before they go stale). Couldn’t possibly eat another thing.

I weigh myself every day. I know you’re not supposed to so that, but it helps keep me focused from day to day. On Christmas morning I had already put on 4lb in the week due to additional snacking and the Christmas Eve curry we’d eaten the night before. On Boxing Day the scales of doom said that I’d actually lost 1lb since Christmas morning.

I’m not going to obsess about going on a diet just yet as there’s too much food in the house to consume yet. But once the overindulgence is done it’ll be time to refocus, and be more considerate about those who were unable to have a hot Christmas day meal.

Socially distanced birthday cake

As plans have been well and truly scuppered for Christmas, it has also made Dad’s birthday celebrations difficult. We usually have a grand gathering for his birthday and couple it with “the great car boot swap”, the chance for everyone to exchange Christmas gifts.

As we weren’t having a great gathering in a pub somewhere I thought that Dad might miss out on his pub dinner, so my original plan for Dad’s birthday was to order dinner from a localish pub that was still doing take away service, then drop it round with his pressies and their Christmas stuff too. However with the latest restrictions, the pub decided to withdraw its offer, so I had to tell mum she’d have to cook after all.

I have however, made a cake and as I was working from home, dropped that off with his presents etc instead. I left them on the doorstep, rang the doorbell then retreated to the other end of the driveway.

We chatted for a while and updated news on what daughter is up to i.e. not coming home for Christmas. I couldn’t stop long, a) because that’s probably not a good idea and b) had to get back for a 1pm meeting.

I think Dad was suitably happy. He’d spoken to big bruv and one of my sister’s by the time I got there. Not your average birthday but when you’re on your 81st of them, maybe they get a bit samey after a while.

Bells, bakes and business

Such a busy day.

Gave C the option of cake or cookies for today’s baking experience. He opted for cookies. I had a quick gander through the cookie bookie then decided on ginger as the key ingredient. Googled gingernut biscuits but found an alternative recipe. Bashed out ginger cookies, with extra stem ginger for heat. Had a batch of them done first thing.

That was before bells. Assisting my sister in her Ringing Room session whilst she’s consolidating Ipswich, Primrose and Norwich at the moment. The great thing about Ringing Room is that you can put out a request for assistance and the wonderful #bellringing community responds. A regular group of 8 from across the UK, who have never met in person (obviously I’ve met my sister!), gather, ring and offer support and advice.

It was a bit chilly this morning so I needed to do something to warm up and decided that there were Christmas presents ready for wrapping, so cracked on with that. This is the most advanced I’ve been with Christmas preparations in, forever! Had a need for something warm for lunch and attacked cheese on toast. 😋 Simple, yet effective.

A #bellringing meeting followed with lots of good things discussed, agreed and actions assigned. It was noted again, that C was on cuppa and snack duty. Something that he doesn’t require prompting to do.

I then finished reading the fabulous Troy by Stephen Fry. I’ve read all 3 books in the series in a short space of time because they are so easy to read and such fun too. I’m slightly bereft that I’ve finished them. Have nothing to read now.

Only then did I allow myself half an hour to do nothing. I snuggled under my sofa blanket and shut my eyes for a while. I didn’t quite get to nap as C and I were chatting about all sorts of things, especially plans for the Association Training Day, but it was nice just to relax for a bit.

Dinner and a glass (or 2) of wine, followed by giant chocolate orange buttons and televisual viewing sorted for the evening.

Tomorrow’s going to be another busy day 😁

Winning at life goals

Every year I promise myself that I’ll get more organised for Christmas earlier so I don’t have that last minute panic buy. And every year, without exception, I fail.

Its usually because I have no idea what to get people, and those closest are really rubbish at offering up ideas. And also the lack of shopping opportunities between work and #bellringing commitments. I dont really like getting things as stocking fillers, I’d rather get things that people want. I also try not to get things that people need. If they need it, then they should buy it themselves. If they can wait until Christmas or birth, then they don’t really need it.

Every year the family has the same conversation. “Oh, don’t worry about getting me anything, I earn money and can get things I want when I want them, save your ££”. I totally get this and subscribe to it. I’m a grown up and earn enough, so if I want or need something, I’ll just buy it. I get that that makes me incredibly fortunate and that some people dot have that luxury. There is something to be said for I’ll buy you a voucher for a well known delivery company, and you buy me the same thing , therefore negating the point, which then becomes a battle of how much did one spend versus the other.

Having said all that though, I do like to buy people gifts, something to open on Christmas morning.

This year, due to lack of #bellringing commitments I have had more opportunity to browse shops and on line. As I’ve been doing so, if I’ve seen something I think someone would like I’ve bought it there and then. Even C has been earlier in providing guidance on the sort of thing he wants.

To cap it all, I’ve even wrapped and labelled everything I’ve got do far. With it being unlikely that we’ll all be able to gather for Christmas this year, things will need posting or dropping off, so the logistics of that will need sorting in good time.

For once, at this stage, I’m ahead of the game.