Able Relationships

Day 2 of our Leadership course talked about 3 able relationships that leaders should consider.

1. NOTICABLE – how we should take notice and responsibility of ourselves, of others and of the task.

2. RESPONSIBLE – how we respond to problems can sometime make it worse. We have the power to choose our response: change it, change ourself, accept it or walk away.

3. DESIRABLE – how much do we want to change ourself to manage relationships and leadership behaviours.

The final exercise of the day was to take it in turns to talk about each member of our group in terms of what we had appreciated about them over the last 2 days and what we felt they could do to improve their leadership skills. That person had to sit quietly and listen and then had an opportunity to respond. Bearing in mind that before day 1 most of us had never met.

When it came to my turn to be analysed I sat in the hot seat with sweaty palms. The comments around what people had appreciated about me were things like my quick witedness, honesty, natural skills, good leadership qualities, focused, put everyone at ease, not pretending to be something I’m not and very able.

The suggestions about what I need to improve on were having a greater sense of self belief, understanding others a bit more and being aware of my own ability. One of the comments I had made about myself earlier in the day was that I don’t consider myself a people person, but everyone disagreed and felt that I had been open, friendly, curious, caring and inclusive and that I should try to stop seeing myself that way.

These 2 days were a really useful practical assessment and learning experience. All previous leadership courses I’ve been on, and indeed my Masters in Healthcare Leadership, have tended to be more theoretical but didn’t really give anything by way of practical suggestions. The giving and receiving of feedback for me, has been key to unlocking some changes I need to make in my own perception of myself so that I can be more like how others see me. As one of the group said I am my own worst saboteur.

This course continues next month with another couple of days. We weren’t given anything to work on between now and then, but I guess the idea is that we take this new found knowledge about ourselves, and work on those areas to improve.

Spoonerisms & Malapropisms

Someone I overheard the other day said they were dotting the t’s and crossing the i’s. Having realised what she’d said she burst into fits of laughter. It reminded me of some of the words I used to get muddled up as a child.

I remember saying that Dad would need to put the car in the par cark. When we went on holiday I would be packing my sleeping bag and sleeping in my suitcase (although technically possible, not true). And one of my siblings used to call (and still does) the A406 road around Central London the North Circlear.

Even now when I see rabbits along verges I call them Runny Babbits, but that came from trying to be cute with my daughter when she was little.

Other random things that we say but aren’t technically spoonerisms are things like having lemming meringoo poo for pudding.

Apparently Spoonerism Day is on 22 July which I shall endeavour to celebrate next year in full. 😁

Friday Funky Feet

One of my #bellringing friends started “a thing” on Facebook last year, or maybe earlier but I only caught up with it then, about wearing funky socks on Fridays and posting photos of said socks on her timeline.

I don’t think she necessarily thought it was a competition with her friends, just a way of spreading a little fun. However, clearly her friends, including me, decided that this was a new club to join in with, not a competition as to who had the funkiest socks, but just joining in the silliness.

Obviously during the summer the wearing of socks was somewhat reduced and therefore Funky Friday Feet petered out. But I’m pleased to say, now that the weather has turned colder and wetter, the wearing of socks of the silly kind it very much back.

Yesterday, as I was about to put on a pair of socks, I grabbed the next pair in line in my neatly Mari Kondo’d sock drawer. I had almost put the first sock on and suddenly realised that they were the perfect candidate for Funky Friday Feet. I put them back and selected the next, rather boring pair of plain black ones.

So, it is now Friday and I’m pleased to announce my entry into todays silly sock selection. Happy Friday. 😁

Busy week ahead

Monday night is the only evening this week when I haven’t got something in the diary. As well as a full time day job, I have 3 #bellringing meetings on Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday, one presentation to deliver on Wednesday and 2 RingingRoom sessions on Thursday and Friday. Everything has come at once. Thankfully its not like that every week otherwise my head would explode.

Considering that there’s very little actual ringing being done, there’s still a lot of work to do.

In order to be able to get to a point when ringing can return to anything like it was previously an awful lot of things are bring planned and delivered behind the scenes. Some people are saying “what’s the point if we can’t actually ring?” To me, the point is that if we don’t do all of these things now, there may not be ringing to go back to.

I fear that we will have lost an awful lot of ringers during this hiatus. Some due to age or infirmity but others who were only just setting out on their learning may find other things have tempted them away.

Within our own Association I see that some districts have been really good at getting people together virtually having district quiz nights, even having their scheduled meeting by video conference. Some have even managed to meet up where social distancing can be maintained and before the Rule of Six came in. Others have barely tried. It demonstrates the variety of leadership styles and levels of expectation rather starkly. I’ve done my bit in our district by holding a virtual district practice on the evenings when we would have been holding a proper district practice but attendance hasn’t been overwhelming, but then it never was at the real thing anyway. The district meeting and training day that we should have had didn’t place. There has been no discussion about plans for next year yet.

One of the meetings, on Saturday, is the Association management committee meeting. All districts are required to report on activities since the last meeting and I am looking forward to hearing about what’s been going on in other districts. I’m hoping that there will be some direction on how we should approach next year, particularly with the Annual District Meetings that take place in January and how they can successfully be conducted.

I will keep doing my little bit to keep things going as long as I am able.

The gift of cake and the 6 people in your corner

I’m going visiting today. A former colleague who I haven’t worked with directly for about 10 years now and who retired to Cambridgeshire a couple of years ago.

I have a lot to thank her for over my career. She has rescued me from tedious roles on a couple of occasions by promoting what I can do to other senior leaders in the Trust. She got me back involved in the PFI project when it started getting interesting again, after I’d taken a sideways tour into Reseach & Development for a few years. Whilst on the project I’d started of as the Admin for all the Project Managers and by the end I was one of the Project Managers having been supported by her all the way through.

When the project ended I was head hunted for a role in Estates & Facilities, something which I would never have applied for just by looking at the job description. All through that time we kept in touch, meeting for coffee and as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I continued to be her personal IT support.

When I needed to move on from that after 6 years, for my sanity, she was the one who had a chat with another senior manager and suggested I might be a good candidate to fill the managers role in their team. And that’s where I am today.

I used to have a picture on my office wall of the six people you should have in your corner: the instigator, the cheerleader, the doubters, the taskmaster, the connector and the example. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicahagy/2012/07/17/the-6-people-you-need-in-your-corner/

I used to think about who I would put in each of those positions and then it occurred to me that they didn’t have to be different people. The same person could take on several of these roles. Then I figured that actually one person could be all of them.

I’m really looking forward to seeing her and if by way of a simple thank you for all she has done, a raspberry ripple cake will make her smile, then I’m a very lucky person.

Is that the IT department?

I love it when I answer the phone at work and hear that. The answer is no I’m not the IT department. Unless you are my former colleague Kathryn.

I worked very closely with Kathryn for a number of years as we were part of a project team that built, equipped and commissioned a large new hospital wing which opened in 2010.

We went in different directions after the new wing opened, she continued to work with the on site project team and I moved into managing a large group of staff, but both within the same hospital still.

I would get an occasional phone call from Kathryn asking for some support with working out spreadsheet formula or some other IT issue. This usually involved me trekking up to her office, having a good natter and putting the world to rights, then she would make me a coffee whilst I sorted out whatever her issue was.

Kathryn took early retirement just over a year ago and moved up to Cambridgeshire to be nearer where her husband works. She got a part time job just to keep some pocket money flowing whilst they did some major work on the house they’d bought. We keep in touch, she calls when she’s visiting her mum who still lives locally to the hospital and we meet up for a coffee in the hospital coffee shop.

She still calls me occasionally asking for the IT department but I have to resort to sorting out her problem long distance, and I don’t get the coffee by way of recompense.

She has called me this morning but didn’t ask for the IT department, just said “‘ello, its me”. I immediately smiled. “‘Ello you” was my reply. We had a brief chat but the best bit was we have arranged to meet up next week. I have the week off work so can take a trip up to Cambridgeshire to see her, taking care with all the current Covid-19 guidance. This time I’ll get more than coffee, we’ll find somewhere for a spot of lunch.

Can’t wait to have a proper catch up, put the world to rights and have a damn good laugh with probably my oldest and best work colleague. She’s more than that, she’s a lifelong friend, confidante and supporter.

Can’t wait 😁