Done nothing all day, so why do I feel so tired?

I have literally done nothing today. I feel so lazy.

Its Bank Holiday, so I’m not at work. We had a bit of a lay in, I didn’t get up until 8am. After showering and getting dressed, I plonked myself down on the sofa and played a game on my tablet. C was helping on a Stedman #bellringing theory session, using my Zoom account I might add, but I wasn’t needed for that. I took half an hour to make my breakfasts and lunches for the rest of the working week ahead. Then sat down again and played some more game.

After he’d finished his theory session, we decided to go into town to get some lunch. The sun was shining but it was very chilly. We walked up to the High Street and back which took us about 20 minutes. I ate my sandwich, then sat on the sofa playing more of my game again. He then went to do some work in the study, and I had a sneaky 10 minute nap, before C made our afternoon cup of tea. He had his whilst working in the study, I had mine whilst playing games on my tablet.

C went down to make dinner. I sat on the sofa watching TV now that its early evening, but essentially doing nothing. And I feel exhausted. I napped before bedtime, went straight to sleep until the alarm the next day.

According to https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-reasons-you-are-tired#10.-High-Stress-Levels there are multiple reasons why that might be:

Consuming too many refined carbs. Whilst giving a quick boost of energy, these baddies tend to rise and fall quickly, quick energy boost, followed by another slump;
Being sedentary. Inactivity is as bad as too active. Exercise can reduce fatigue so walking, gentle exercise is better than none;
Not getting enough of the right sort of sleep. I’m not sure this one is me. I sleep for Britain. After a good quality night’s sleep your supposed to wake up feeling energised and ready to go. Can’t say that’s ever happened to me though;
Food sensitivities. If you have intolerances like rashes or digestive problems it might be a sign that something you’ve eaten doesn’t agree with you.
Not eating enough calories. I definitely don’t think this one applies to me. They might not be the right sort of calories, but I definitely get my quota in;
Sleeping at the wrong time. Now, I can sleep whenever, wherever. If I’m not doing anything I fall asleep, if I’m bored I fall asleep. Maybe I sleep too much!
Not enough protein. Protein boosts your metabolic rate and can aid weight loss and prevent tiredness;
Not drinking enough water. I drink about 1.5 litres per day easily. That’s in addition to coffee or anything else.
Relying on energy drinks. This is not me. Don’t like them, they taste too sweet.
High stress levels. I don’t think I’m particularly stressed. Sometimes more than others, sure, but generally I’m quite good at dealing with it. Mostly I sleep it off, if I’m asleep it can’t worry me!

I’m exhausted just thinkng about it!

That was the week (or 2) that was

The end of my 2 weeks annual leave has arrived. Monday morning sees the return to the office. Have I had a good holiday? Do I feel relaxed and rejuvenated?

Yes, I’ve had a good couple of weeks off, considering. I don’t particularly feel relaxed or rejuvenated thought. But I suspect that’s to do with the fact that we’re in lockdown and we can’t go anywhere or do anything or see anyone.

If we have been able to do things, I might have felt more energised. As it was, I spent most of the week not venturing far from home.

The first week I took the opportunity to undertake an online Mindfulness course. This was quite interesting and useful, but not something that I’ve suddenly found enlightenment from. It did give me some focus for a few days.

I had 7 virtual #bellringing sessions during the fortnight, some which I ran. I watched a funeral online. I attended 4 meetings and 1 virtual dinner. In between, I did some reading, played some games on my tablet and celebrated my 50^th birthday, lockdown stylee.

I did spend some time, quite purposefully, doing not a lot. C still did all the housework and cooking.

This sort of gave me an insight to what life might be like at a time when I could give up paid work completely. However, if that was the case, things would happen very differently. I would see a fair distribution of household labour. I would also probably do some form of exercise, whether down the gym or online stuff at home, or more walking at least. I would definitely do more baking and cooking. I do miss that a little bit.

I’ve had a good couple of weeks off and enjoyed not having to get up early and go to an office and get grief all day. I’m sure that feeling will be short lived when I open the office door.

Body Scanning

I have always found it hard to meditate. To find the time for starters. I have a full time job and a full time hobby as well as a family. Finding time to sit and do nothing just doesn’t feature. When I have tried body scanning or meditation before I’ve always been skeptical and probably not allowed myself the chance to fully embrace it and practice it thoroughly. I’ve always thought it’s a bit “woo woo”!

I indulged myself today with a full, guided body scan activity that was actually quite lengthy. I found myself wandering off at times, my inner voice telling me that I have many other things I should be doing right now, what was I doing just sitting here, seemingly doing nothing. As I went through the practice though, I got better at shutting that inner voice out and really tuning in to what my body was telling me.

As I moved on from each area of the body, I felt that area go cold. I had a constant tenseness in my thighs and shoulders. I’ve had quite bad back problems before and as soon as I started to focus on the pelvic area I felt sharp pains in my coccyx. As I moved to the lower back, I felt the muscle memory tense and try to go into spasm. I had to consciously try to shut these feelings out. They weren’t real. My body was just reacting in the way it has been used to for many years.

After about 10-15 minutes or so I felt my eyes start to get heavy and could have quite easily nodded off, so had to keep bringing myself back from the abyss. When I moved on to the back, chest and shoulders, I felt that I had to physically expand my chest by moving my arms behind me so that it opened out my shoulders and allowed more breath to fill my lungs. I almost had to prise my clenched jaw apart.

The whole thing took just over half an hour to complete. Time that I simply do not have every day of the week. I felt that this length of time focused on listening to my body and my breathing was a bit of a luxury, and maybe should be reserved for a bit of self-indulgence at the end of a busy week.

Or at the beginning of a two week holiday 🙂