Body Scanning

I have always found it hard to meditate.  To find the time for starters.  I have a full time job and a full time hobby as well as a family.  Finding time to sit and do nothing just doesn’t feature.  When I have tried body scanning or meditation before I’ve always been skeptical and probably not allowed myself the chance to fully embrace it and practice it thoroughly. I’ve always thought it’s a bit “woo woo”!

I indulged myself today with a full, guided body scan activity that was actually quite lengthy.  I found myself wandering off at times, my inner voice telling me that I have many other things I should be doing right now, what was I doing just sitting here, seemingly doing nothing.  As I went through the practice though, I got better at shutting that inner voice out and really tuning in to what my body was telling me. 

As I moved on from each area of the body, I felt that area go cold. I had a constant tenseness in my thighs and shoulders. I’ve had quite bad back problems before and as soon as I started to focus on the pelvic area I felt sharp pains in my coccyx.  As I moved to the lower back, I felt the muscle memory tense and try to go into spasm.  I had to consciously try to shut these feelings out.  They weren’t real.  My body was just reacting in the way it has been used to for many years. 

After about 10-15 minutes or so I felt my eyes start to get heavy and could have quite easily nodded off, so had to keep bringing myself back from the abyss. When I moved on to the back, chest and shoulders, I felt that I had to physically expand my chest by moving my arms behind me so that it opened out my shoulders and allowed more breath to fill my lungs. I almost had to prise my clenched jaw apart.

The whole thing took just over half an hour to complete. Time that I simply do not have every day of the week. I felt that this length of time focused on listening to my body and my breathing was a bit of a luxury, and maybe should be reserved for a bit of self-indulgence at the end of a busy week.

Or at the beginning of a two week holiday 🙂