Transformation doesn’t happen overnight

I remember a former Director of mine having a go at me for not being an instant success at leadership when I’d only been on the course for a few weeks of the year long programme.  I asked how did she expect me to be expert at it after only a few weeks and that it would take time for new learning to seep in and become second nature.

You’ll know if you read my blogs regularly that I am on a journey of self-discovery and improvement and that I am trying to navigate my way to becoming an improved version.  I’ve been on this journey for a few months now, and I have noticed a few things changing.  Most noticeably, my emotional responses to events and people and my expectations of others. But again, this is something that hasn’t happened overnight and that I still have to work at as it’s not yet second nature.

Julian Hayes offered five must-do steps for a successful personal transformation:

1. Find your why – your why ignites your spirits, giving you motivation to chase your goal, to go in search of an improved version of you.
2. Get guidance – it would be difficult to navigate all this on your own, so seek guidance to avoid being led astray and avoid or diminish setbacks that can be demotivating. Ask for help in becoming who you want to be or getting where you want to go.  Save yourself time and trouble by benefiting from those who went before you. Choose from resources such as mentors who have done a similar thing, a community that can give you support, books, tutorials etc that provide wisdom and knowledge.
3. Leave your comfort zone – learning about yourself can be uncomfortable as you start to face some home truths, expand your mind set and skills.  You don’t have to make gigantic leaps though, but start with incremental steps and daily improvements.  Improving 1% each day has a big impact months and years down the line if you are able to stick with it.  Challenge yourself every day and reflect on how far you’ve come.
4. Trust the process – overnight success doesn’t happen.  We don’t tend to hear about the years and years of hard slog behind the scenes that get us to even the first rung of the ladder.  The process shouldn’t be rushed, it can be messy and may not proceed in the direction you first thought or hoped for.  Think of the longer term success, which happens through consistency, daily habits, repetition, time and patience.
5. Choose yourself – If you don’t believe in yourself how do you expect others to?  Be your biggest fan, value yourself.  When you’re trying to transform yourself, own it and claim whatever it is you’re going after.  Fear of failure is often a deterrent to people chasing their goes, but failure only is only failure when you give up.

I’ve found guidance in a number of areas.  You’ll know that I’m currently listening my way through Tonya Leigh’s podcast back catalogue.  I also starting reading appropriate magazines and books like Psychologies Magazine, Platinum etc.

I have discovered things about myself that I’m not so proud of and I’m working hard to improve them.  I’m more considered when I speak with others, but I’m also still shut down and not saying my piece in some scenarios.  I’ve been at this for several months now and I’m seeing glimmers of change but it’s still very much a work in progress and I’m always open to advice, comment and feedback (even if I may not like it) and even coaching. 

I have become less bothered by what people say or think and try to tell me that’s their business not mine.  Whilst not going out of my way to antagonise, should it happen, it’s a result of others’ responses and that’s up to them to be able to handle.  I don’t have to take feeling I’m the bad person all the time especially when that’s not the intention.

So, what have you noticed change in me?  What do you think I still need to work on?