Can feeling jealous be a good thing?

Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

I’m sure we’ve all experienced feelings of jealousy at some point in our lives.  A friend who doesn’t have money worries and can buy that expensive jumper without a second thought, a family member who lands the perfect job, a colleague who gets all the praise, a stranger wearing the most perfect outfit.

Understanding the life you desire can really help to eliminate unnecessary jealousy, according to my current podcast fave Tonya Leigh.  When jealousy strikes we can turn it around into something more beautiful and constructive.  Jealousy can be a killer emotion when we act out on it harbouring resentment and fear, making nasty comments on social media about others, creating unnecessary drama in relationships, gossiping about others because our envy goes unchecked.  It’s hurtful to others but also to ourselves.

However, feeling jealous can make you feel alive, knowing you’re being pulled towards a desire and longing.

TL suggested when we live in a state of gratitude it can be rewarding but we’re human with human emotions.  We can use those emotions to discover more about ourselves and what’s holding us back.  Feeling jealous does not make us bad people, it’s only when we act on that emotion and hurt others and ourselves it becomes damaging.

The key is to understand jealously has nothing to do with the other person, TL said, but everything to do with what we deeply desire and what’s holding us back from creating it for ourselves.  Using jealousy as a guide can be wonderful in waking us up to a deep longing.  Jealousy can show us the way.

I don’t usually get hooked up on feeling jealous about material things, like seeing someone in a big, beautiful house, or wearing the latest trends, or having the flashy car; those sorts of things don’t bother me, that person has probably worked really hard for that and good luck to them.  I tend to feel more jealous of how people interact with me versus other people.  Not that I think I need to be the centre of attention all the time, but more along the lines of how come that person gets all the praise for doing one simple thing once, yet I’ve been working my butt off for years without recognition.  It’s not about rewards as such, although that might be nice, but recognising my hard work and in some cases dedication to the cause. 

I wonder whether if I stopped doing what I do, would anyone notice?  Would anyone care?  Would anyone recognise what contribution I had made?  Sometimes I think it has a lot to do with the people around you.  They expect.  They don’t see what you do, just expect it to happen.  Maybe it’s my personality that doesn’t endear me to others therefore they’re not interested in what I do and don’t think I should have the same rewards as others.

My jealousy mostly comes from when I see others rewarded for very little and I think what the hell else do I have to do to get the same? I agree with TL that that has absolutely nothing to do with others but how I feel about it.  Perhaps there’s some deep seated need for me to feel seen and appreciated. 

When was the last time you felt envious?  What is it showing you that you want for yourself?


One thought on “Can feeling jealous be a good thing?

  1. Yep. Some folks seem to pop out of nowhere and everyone thinks they’re the best thing since sliced bread. I have also withdrawn from some scenarios to see if I’d be missed. So far, not at all. So maybe I wasn’t that great in the first place. But do I need to be lauded, or just know I did my best? Other folks can be jealous of my peace of mind. I know you do a good job 👏


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