Are you someone who is always serious about everything? I know I am. But lightening up isn’t always that easy. Guilt and fear can put us off having fun; when you’re out with friends are you thinking about the chores you haven’t completed, or what if something disastrous happens whilst you’re out daring to have fun?
When we were children we know instinctively how to laugh, play games, sing and dance like no one’s watching. There was no guilt or fear, we just enjoyed ourselves.
Podcast fave Tonya Leigh suggested that as we grow we start to hear messages like “you can play when you’ve got your work done”. This causes us to think of fun as a forbidden and almost impossible feat. In modern life our work is never done, so where is there time for fun? Responsibilities and expectations start to replace our nature desire to have fun.
Is there correlation between how much fun we have in our lives versus its overall quality? Is it really as simple as lightening up and having more fun? When you commit to having more fun in your life, you’ll feel fear, scepticism or doubt.
What is stopping you having more fun? Excuses like not enough time, too many responsibilities, not knowing how to have fun, not knowing what fun feels like anymore, there are more important/worthy things to do.
TL suggested three reasons people have told her for avoiding fun:
- Need to please others. Not wanting to upset everyone else, so end up giving everything to others whilst denying yourself. Make yourself a priority and stop people pleasing.
- Fear of what others will think. People who aren’t having fun in their lives try to bring you back into misery or boredom by telling you you need to grow up, or you have responsibilities. They’re going to judge you whether you are sitting at home bored, or out having fund dancing on table tops.
- Fear of it all falling apart. In an effort to keep it all together with busy diaries and seriousness, the world about us starts to crumble into mediocrity and overwhelm. Do you feel a pang of envy when you see others around you laughing, kissing, dancing?
Fun can open up more possibilities but finding it can be difficult. We get to bring fun to every moment of our lives. It’s no one else’s responsibility. You can have lively fun meetings, make a game of the shopping, or dance whilst folding the laundry.
Fun first – work second. TL asked if you put fun first how would that shift how your show up in everyday life? Quality of work improves, relationships improve and other opportunities materialise.
Its up to you to have fun, to open up and laugh, to dance because you want to. Leave behind doubts and insecurities about what others think of you. It doesn’t need to involve wild, crazy, drunken nights out, shopping sprees that leave you broke.
Fun is amusement, enjoyment and light-hearted pleasure. What amuse you? Brings you pleasure?
Those three words TL offered: Amuse-toi bein! Have fun!
One thought on “3 Words to lighten up”
Agree that when you have tasks to complete, the idea of going off to have fun seems a bit of a waste of constructive time. I struggle to fit a lot of fun in my day and I’m not quite sure how to add some tbh 🤔