Opening doors

When I get asked to give talks its one of the scariest things and takes me on a roller coaster ride.

My first question is why have they asked me? And the cynic in me replies “because they need to fill a slot and you’re an easy ask“. But maybe, just maybe, its because its a topic I know about and the person that’s asked knows that I can do a half decent job of it.

My first real worry then is what on earth have I got to say that anyone would want to listen to. I’m no one special. I haven’t done anything earth shattering brilliant or enlightening or entertaining. No one is going to want to hear me spout on about xyz when there are far more interesting and entertaining people who could do it.

Then there’s the “what am I actually going to talk about“. The latest ask hasn’t been too specific yet so I’ve asked the question. I could redo a talk I’ve given on a specific topic before, so I won’t have to prepare anything new, or do they want something different?

Then there’s the “how long have I got”? This is where, once I’ve written my talk I’ll time it to make sure it fits and I get all the main points across. I’ll read and re-read through it multiple times, including immediately before delivering it.

Then there’s the “oh my god, how many people will turn up? Supposing no one does?” Well, that’s not really under my control to do anything about. The one good thing about doing talks over Zoom is that you can change the view so you don’t have to see everyone’s faces and therefore don’t know if there’s one or one hundred people watching. Of course the trouble with doing that is then you miss out on any visual cues from the audience, like wanting to ask a question or wanting you to get a move on and shut up.

I generally don’t get nervous about giving talks, its the bit afterwards. Whilst I’m talking I know what I’m going to say, I’m well prepared, I’m in control. I’ve been to the loo, I’ve got a glass of water handy. But at the end when the facilitator opens things up to questions, that’s when I start getting nervous. What if someone asks a question I don’t know the answer to? Or worse still, I don’t even understand the question? The former can be resolved quite easily with a straight forward ,”you know, I don’t know the answer to that but I’m going to go away and find out, then I’ll let you know”. That’s all good if you actually do that, which I always make a point of on the rare occasions it happens. If I don’t even understand the question I’m not beyond asking them to rephrase it. Particularly if its quite a technical question, I’ll make a joke of it and ask them to dumb it down for those like me who are not technically minded.

The thing about giving talks is that they can open doors to lots of opportunity. An opportunity to meet new people, to listen to their questions and think about things from their perspective, to get involved in something else as a spin off, to be heard by someone who wants you to give your talk to a different group and start opening doors again with another different audience.

As much as I dread doing it for all the reasons above and want to say no, the chance of more doors opening and more new experiences happening is too great an attraction, however flattering the ask was in the first place.

Bonus day off

After our weekend away I’d booked an additional day off in order to catch up with all those things that weren’t done over the weekend.

The day started with a lie in. C had turned the alarm clock off, so it was lovely just to wake up naturally and get up when I was ready to, not because I had to.

I had decided that I would go into town to finish buying the incidentals for Christmas presents. There were a few bits still to get and I needed to do it on my own, without C.

The city centre was heaving, almost as busy as a Saturday. There were people everywhere. Some shops had a queuing system, only allowing a certain number of people in. To be honest, it didn’t take long to get to the front of any of the queues and into the shops. It was all quite civilised. I managed to get everything I’d gone in for, and a few extra bits besides.

When I got home, I wrapped everything up. Everything that needs to be posted is now ready to go. I think I’m officially done with the Christmas shopping. And there’s still 3 weeks to go.

I prepped my lunches for work for the next few days. Then tackled the ironing. I watched some cheesy Christmas tv whilst doing the ironing. I need to have something to take my mind off doing the ironing but something that doesn’t require much concentration, otherwise I’ll end up burning the shirts! Then, a lovely cup of mint tea with a mince pie to complete the festiveness.

I actually feel more christmassy than I usually do and considering we’re not going to be able to spend time with the whole family. Who’d have thought.

A strange day

With the excitement of starting a new role next week, and a long weekend away in between, today was a very strange day indeed.

Because the move to the new role has been swift, the opportunity to hand over things, finish things off and so on has been very short. Not least having the chance to tell my team about it.

The day has been spent trying to wrap up loose ends and get things to a sensible state for someone else to pick up and finish. The other things I need to sort out is moving desks. There are some things I can take home that I won’t be able to utilise in my new office space, but there are other things that I will need to take across, and some that I don’t need to take with me.

The plan is to come back to this office on Tuesday, after my weekend off, to pick the bits that I will need, then walk them over the other side of the site to where I will base myself. I also have the option to be able to work from home, so I may start doing that a couple of days a week too.

I suppose I’m not technically leaving the team as its only a secondment, so there’s been no “leaving do”. I’ve spoken to my team leaders and sent a message round to the team as I didn’t get to see and speak to everyone. I will get to see them from time to time so I guess its not a case of walking away.

At least I have a nice long weekend, Thursday to Monday inclusive, to be able to switch brain ready to hit my new role next week.

Being fed and watered (and flowered)

Most of Saturday daytime was taken up by attending the virtual meeting of the Central Council of Church Bellringers Executive and Workgroup leads meeting. Although technically neither of those things, I am generally invited in my role as Public Relations Officer so that I have some idea of what’s going on.

The Exec and I meet once a month (the Exec meet otherwise as Trustees at different times so I’m not party to discussions I shouldn’t be), then once a quarter there’s a larger meeting that includes the Workgroup leads too. Saturday was that day.

On these occasions some element of logistics is required with regard to lunch and other refreshment throughout the day. C and I have it well sorted.

Before the meeting started in the morning I put in my lunch order, as there’s only half an hour break allocated. This time C sourced vegetable samosa, garlic and herb focaccia and a custard doughnut whilst he was in town, from the bread stall in the High Street. The samosa and bread were duly served warmed up at the alloted time.

C had also sourced a poinsettia whilst he was out, which made its way on to the windowsill during the course of the early part of the meeting, before the lunch break.

At lunchtime the afternoon cuppa order was placed and timing agreed. At the alloted time, whilst I was on screen, my mint tea accompanied by a chocolate orange brownie that I’d made yesterday was delivered, in full view of the other participants on the video call.

This prompted 2 participants to message me privately, via the chat function. One simply said “you’re lucky” the other put in their order for “tea with milk and no sugar“.

A little while later the first messager advised that his tea cuppa had now arrived. I replied to say that mine had come with the brownie, which was met with raised eyebrows and mouth gaping, and a tiny spec of jealousy me thinks!

I’m lucky that C helps me facilitate attending these meetings by picking up the domestic slack. Its all in the planning you know.

My new set up

Our back room has been a bit of a tip for quite some time. It used to be step daughter #1’s bedroom. We eventually moved the main PC down and created a one person workspace.

Over time both of us has needed workspace and have had to take it in turns on the main PC or one person on a laptop in the lounge. That’s OK for short meetings and quick pieces of work, but not conducive to longer periods of time when we’ve both wanted to get on with something.

With the Covid-19 situation suggesting that people should work from home if they could, there just wouldn’t be a sensible place for me to do that. I also want a place to put all my #bellringing workbooks etc. And I could be on an evening conference meeting and C could still use the main PC for whatever he wanted to get on with.

We finally agreed that I should have my own desk space so purchased desk and chair, and set about tidying up the junk.

This weekend has seen a couple of trips to the tip and a lot of sorting of boxes and files, but finally created enough space to get the desk installed. I now have my own workspace and comfy chair. I’m actually quite looking forward to doing some work from here.

I also get the window seat, so can watch the birds come and go and gaze out of the window. I mean, concentrate really hard.

Winning at life goals

Every year I promise myself that I’ll get more organised for Christmas earlier so I don’t have that last minute panic buy. And every year, without exception, I fail.

Its usually because I have no idea what to get people, and those closest are really rubbish at offering up ideas. And also the lack of shopping opportunities between work and #bellringing commitments. I dont really like getting things as stocking fillers, I’d rather get things that people want. I also try not to get things that people need. If they need it, then they should buy it themselves. If they can wait until Christmas or birth, then they don’t really need it.

Every year the family has the same conversation. “Oh, don’t worry about getting me anything, I earn money and can get things I want when I want them, save your ££”. I totally get this and subscribe to it. I’m a grown up and earn enough, so if I want or need something, I’ll just buy it. I get that that makes me incredibly fortunate and that some people dot have that luxury. There is something to be said for I’ll buy you a voucher for a well known delivery company, and you buy me the same thing , therefore negating the point, which then becomes a battle of how much did one spend versus the other.

Having said all that though, I do like to buy people gifts, something to open on Christmas morning.

This year, due to lack of #bellringing commitments I have had more opportunity to browse shops and on line. As I’ve been doing so, if I’ve seen something I think someone would like I’ve bought it there and then. Even C has been earlier in providing guidance on the sort of thing he wants.

To cap it all, I’ve even wrapped and labelled everything I’ve got do far. With it being unlikely that we’ll all be able to gather for Christmas this year, things will need posting or dropping off, so the logistics of that will need sorting in good time.

For once, at this stage, I’m ahead of the game.