Freedom in sight

So today our Prime Minister has set out a road map to ending the UK lockdown completely by 21st June. To be honest I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Outdoor gatherings of up to 6 people could take place from 29 March. That means people will start mixing long before many have had both vaccine jabs. Therefore increasing the risk of spreading again.

Non essential shops like hairdressers etc and outdoor hospitality could be open again by 12 April. That’s good news for R and her flatmate who’ll be able to return to work. It also means that beer gardens will be open again so the idiots whose “first thing I’m gonna do is go down the pub” mentality will again be people gathering who haven’t had both jabs, increasing the risk.

From 17 May 2 households might be able to mix indoors. That means we’ll be able to go and see R for the first time since about November. It also means a possible return to ringing more than just 2 bells.

Then all restrictions could be lifted by 21 June. That is provided the 4 tests on vaccine take up, vaccine efficacy, infection rates and new variants get passed. There will still be great numbers of people that won’t have had the 2 vaccine jabs yet.

Whilst I want there to be people at work and people being able to see family members, its the idiots who go too far by flouting the rules and are purely selfish about it all that puts it all at risk again.

Please let’s not see a return to stupidity.

Family Quiz Time

We have a once a fortnight family Skype during which J usually has a list of questions for everyone so we get to hear everyone’s news and updates. Once a month we’ve taken to having a bit of a quiz.

Now, I’m not a fan of quizzes on account of the fact that I don’t know much stuff. I hate office quizzes and charity quizzes. I once went to one of C’s works quizzes and I only knew the answer to one question the whole night. It was awful. That and being with a whole bunch of people I didn’t know.

Our family quizzes started with big bruv doing a picture quiz based on biscuits. Then T did one based on Blankety Blank, J&A did one based on the Generation Game. I did one on zoomed in photos of everyday objects.

This week our daughter R raised the game with an epic 6 category, 31 questions with a total possible 43 points. It covered History, Science, TV & Film, music, current affairs and people and places. There was audio, video, pictures and powerpoint wizardry. It was a tough quiz though. I think the highest score was only 12. I scored a 9 which wasn’t the worst. Having said that 5 of those points were scored during the first 2 questions (which had multiple answers). Her and her flatmate had done some serious homework and there was a good mix of new and older stuff in each category.

These are a bit of fun, no prizes, just the kudos of seeing how clever we are (or are not). Its been rather good that we’ve all come up with different ideas and themes. I still hate “formal” quizzes though.

The gauntlet now returns to big bruv to devise the next one for some time in March.

A million thank yous

So I’m now 50. The Big five oh. So far so good.

Our original thoughts were to have been having a nice holiday, Italy, Venice were mentioned but of course we couldn’t do that. However my epically wonderful hublet and most favouritest other person daughter R made it really special, as did everyone else who contributed cards, messages and gifts.

I have enough flowers to open my own floristry shop. Fortunately the last lot to be delivered came in their own vase, we’d run out by then.

Then there were chocolates, wine, prosecco,. Even biscuits from my favourite little mate who calls me “biscuit”. Book tokens, West End theatre evoucher, chocolate tasting experience, gift voucher for a cake class with my favourite cake teacher.

Beautiful earrings, necklaces, candles, books on things to do now I’m 50, and a mahoosive lunch/ afternoon tea that was too much food for one sitting. One necklace rom R was of all our birthstones, aquamarine (February), amethyst (March) and Ruby (July).

Balloons that were sneakily made up in the garage, and a chocolate cake to die for delivered having been approved of by R.

Lots of messages, lots of cards and a video chat with my big bruv in the morning and a lovely video chat with R later on in the day.

I feel thoroughly spoilt and am extremely grateful for everyone’s participation.

We’ll go travelling next year when there’s even more to celebrate, our 25th wedding anniversary and R’s 25th birthday.

Might need to take about 3 months off work for that. 😄

Broadening musical horizons

Sunday evening I really enjoyed watching a compilation programme on BBC1 of highlights from stage musicals, Musicals: The Greatest Show, which was immediately followed by the O2 staged 25^th anniversary production of Les Miserables, a show that we’ve seen in the West End, and one of the few that I have the soundtrack for downloaded on my music player.

Cast members from several West End shows like Wicked, Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, Hairspray, Six and others, sang iconic songs from the shows. And I knew the words to pretty much all of them. We’ve had a family tradition for many years now of going to see a West End show during the Christmas period, so have seen a fair few of the offerings.

I do like a good belter of a song, or one that is really catchy and sing-a-long-able. Even if I don’t know the words, I know the tune and was humming, whistling or making some random noises along to (probably to the annoyance of C). There were some spectacular performances that really got the hair on the back of your neck standing up.

The Les Miserables performance was exceptional. They’d make some adjustments to the performance to account for it being at the O2, but nothing of the drama was lost. At the end they had all 4 performers who had played Jean Val Jean singing together, which was actually pretty awesome. To be honest, I can’t remember which one of them played him when we went to see it, without digging the programme out, it was a few years ago now.

The last musical we went to see was Six, the stories of Henry VIII’s wives, factually correct but with a bit of a modern spin on the delivery. It was more like going to a rock concert than a theatre show, especially at the end when they encouraged everyone to get up on the their feet and dance, and get their phones out to record it.

We really have missed out on some spectacular theatre over this last year but I’m pleased that shows like the Musicals: The Greatest Show may have reached a new audience and enthused more of us to partake when we are able.

We do currently have tickets for Sister Act in August, featuring Whoopi Goldberg and Jennifer Saunders, which was postponed from last year, so fingers cross that goes ahead. I will look forward to visiting the West End again and having a good old sing along.

Let me eat cake

I follow multiple cake bakers social media in an attempt to get ideas on future cake designs and to see what the latest trend is.

Trouble is, there are so many beautiful designs and styles that every time I see a photo I think “oh that’s nice” then 2 seconds later see another one and “oh thats nice too”. To the point where its actually quite confusing now.

Apart from the fact that no one is needing cake made right now, I might not be able to get supplies in and I’ll have to make do with what I’ve got. I suppose I could order stuff in but as I can’t decide what to do, I don’t know what to order.

If I made a cake just for my own pleasure, I have my favourite colour scheme and think I would probably make something with some classic flowers on. I have some annual leave so will have the time to make them. I’m thinking a large peony and some roses and fillers. I have a tonne of new sprinkles to try out too so it would be good to incorporate them as well.

There’s Valentines Day, mine and C’s birthdays and our wedding anniversary coming up so maybe time to have a play.

I do find cake decorating quite therapeutic as you have to concentrate on what you’re doing. Its all absorbing. And of course there’s a reward at the end of it. I just have to make the time.

Is it too pretentious to make myself a cake?

How adventurous are you?

I do not think I’m the adventurous type at all. I like home comforts. I like routine. I like to know what I’m doing and when so that I can plan around it. I’m not particularly great at trying new experiences. Although I did do an abseil once. I did go skiing when I was at school. I do like to travel and see different places. And I did make my husband do husky sledging a few years back. But I’m not spontaneous, or good at thinking of what others might see as exciting things to do.

So, I thought I’d try and find out what the experts say about whether I’m an adventurous sort or not and turned to one of those on line quizzes that thinks its gets to know all about you and your preferences by asking you a mere 10 multiple choice questions. According to the results:

You are excited by new experiences

Cosmopolitan, smart and savvy, above all, you get your kicks from interesting experiences. You flourish when your mind and senses are nourished and flounder in a cultural vacuum. The buzz of a new exhibit, the hush as the theatre curtain parts, or the flavours of a new cuisine all excite your palate and thrill your thoughts. For you, the conventional is dreary. Because you open yourself up to a wide array of artistic and intellectual interests, your world is ever expanding.

Well, as it happens, yes I do like the theatre. We do try to at least make an annual trip to see a West End show each Christmas time (2020 being the exception) and if anything else takes our fancy in the mean time we’d go along. I do like to learn new things and educate myself. I enjoy certain types of museums and exhibits and enjoy a good National Trust property or English Heritage site. I do like eating, so trying new things from time to time is good, and when we are on holiday abroad I do like to try something that might be considered local cuisine (so long as its not fish!).

So I might not be adventurous in the sense that I like to do extreme things like water sports (I have a phobia of water so that’s not going to work), or bungee jumping, or fast paced stuff, I’m more of a slow, steady adventurer. I’m less keen on the “let’s do something crazy” and go for more of the “let’s plan a nice trip out”.

A while back I did do a year (and am probably still doing it) of saying “yes” to everything that came my way. This was both exciting to take on new challenges but worrying as some of the things I was asked to do put me in the spotlight, somewhere I’m not comfortable with. However, it did give me a chance to connect with new people, and has stretched my own learning and capacity. The downside is that I now get involved in lots of things that I can’t always give sufficient time to. So there’s a fine balance needed.

So, maybe I am unconventionally adventurous and my world is ever expanding, just slowly.

Its beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

I finally got around to baking the BakedIn Winter Spice Cake. Its a test of biscuitery and cakery. Gingerbread houses, trees and stars and a cinnamon flavoured cake and icing.

It was, as you might expect, quite time consuming. Need to make the dough for the biscuits, then whilst that’s chilling in the fridge, make the cake batter. Then when the cakes are baking its time to roll out the dough and cut out the shapes. Then bake them whilst the cakes are cooling. Then make the icing while the biscuits cool. A little bit fiddly in parts but otherwise quite satisfying to put it all together.

The smell of the cinnamon and the gingerbread is just like its Christmas cooking all over again. Christmas food is just about the best.

Food smells, like any other smell, has the ability to transport us to the past, to experiences and periods of our lives.

There’s always been a smell, that I can’t really describe, that always reminds me of my grandads kitchen and the massive panty/cupboard where he kept all the crockery and some tins (peaches, pears and spam generally) and packets of food. I can’t really remember a particular smell from my nanna’s, but I do remember the food. She’d get enough in for tea that “whatever you don’t eat now you’ll have to take home with you”.

I wonder what olfactory memories our daughter will have of our house. There’s certainly been a lot of baking. I know she came in from her evening job when she was doing her A levels, and always said that whatever was cooking for dinner smelled lovely. Usually something like chilli or spaghetti bolognese.

What smell memories do you have?

Why we do what we do

I have the next week off work as annual leave. I have no plans, and no real thoughts about what to do with my time. I have a couple of reports to write and could bake something but other than that, because we can’t go very far due to lockdown, no other real thoughts about what to do. That got me thinking about why we do what we do (or not).

You could take Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and work through that systematically, but does that cover it? Yes, there are some basic needs that ought to be addressed: the need for food, shelter, sleep, company etc. We need our elements of security around employment, health and some material belongings. There is certainly a need for friendship, family, love and a sense of connection. But then we get on to the things that you could argue we don’t NEED, we just WANT. Respect, recognition, strength, and then self-actualisation – to be the best we can be.

There’s another school of thought that suggests a different solution to why we do what we do.

A sense of obligation – to share experience and knowledge, the obligation to serve others. A sense of duty, and pride – perhaps via volunteerism, a call to action, pride in a job well done and our want to succeed. We should be wary of the vice like self intention, cunningly disguised as “being in our best interests”, which only really offer temporary pleasure. Acts of kindness and our altruistic love for the benefit of others. Passion for our favourite activity or cause, our desire to do something. The desire to “tick the box”, perhaps something off our bucket list, but could lead on to somewhere else. Our destiny may be coloured by family tradition, a hobby or particular calling that other family members before us have excelled in. Yes, there’s a need to have a sense of fulfilment to keep us energised and empowered through our self-actualisation. But maybe we do it for others, to have something to share or for the “greater good”.

Tony Robbins, an author and podcaster, as well as being a mutli-billion dollar entrepreneur, in his TED Talk and book, describes 6 human needs – certainty, significance, variety, love/connection, growth and contribution – and how each influences our thoughts, feelings, behaviours and actions. By understanding what drives us, we can understand how to meet those needs. The same for people around us, once we know what drives them, we can help them meet their needs too.

At a very fundamental level, I know I need to be safe, secure, independent and have a sense of purpose. The narcissist in me does need some form of appreciation every now and then, but I certainly need feedback to make sure that I’m at least heading in the right direction and to help me achieve some personal growth. I need to be educated. I need to understand things and learn from them. I try to encompass all of that in my working, social and family life and am conscious that I don’t always get it right.

Sunday rituals

Rituals are good for giving us the power to keep us grounded, stabilised and focused. They can provide a sense of confidence and security and can help alleviate grief and stress and can increase happiness. Doing things on a regular basis gives us a sense of familiarity in a world when there is so much going on around us.

Sundays in this house is very ritualistic. Fortunately for the two of us we can still go #bellringing on our own, so up and out first thing. When we get back home we split the chores. Something we agreed from the start is that I would either cook Sunday lunch or do the ironing but not both. He picked cooking so I get landed with the ironing.

Ironing is not my favourite pastime so I need some distraction in order to get through it. Generally this comes in the form of a vat of coffee, using a huge mug I’ve had for years. Because I don’t have breakfasts on Sundays by the time we get home from ringing I’m hungry, so have a snack of some sort with my coffee.

Then I’ll put a film or Netflix series on so that I can watch that whilst I’m ironing but it can’t be anything that requires too much concentration otherwise I’d burn his shirts. He’s busy cooking a Sunday roast by this point.

Then, after lunch I prepare my breakfasts and lunches for the working week ahead. This week I’ve made Biscoff pancakes for breakfasts 😋 and I’ll have ham rolls for lunch.

Every other week we have a family Skype and catch up with everyone, and sometimes I have either a meeting or virtual #bellringing session in the early evening.

Then its time to settle down. Often we’ll have cheese and crackers for supper, sometimes accompanied by a glass of Baileys. There’s usually a dodgy old film or TV show on that we’ll settle in to before wrapping myself in my sofa blanket and having a nap.

The simple pleasures in life and the familiarity of ritual allows me to rest and recover ready for the week ahead. Once I’m under my sofa blanket, do not disturb!

Start as you mean to go on

New Years Day morning. A new year ahead that hasn’t been written yet. C made a cooked brunch. I could get used to that 😋.

This year will mark a significant birthday for me. The day this blog is uploaded will mark 50 days until I turn 50. I don’t have any issues with turning 50, it is but a number after all.

The 12 months before I turned 40 I kept a daily diary. I did think of doing something similar for the year that I turned 50 but somehow never got round to it. I guess you could say that I’ve used this blog as a sort of diary, although there’s lots that I haven’t written in a blog that I would have written in a diary.

Starting a new year and a new decade of life gives me the opportunity to start afresh and start as I mean to go on. I could get used to C cooking me breakfast every day but thats not practical or too good for my health. I could take this opportunity to establish some new habits. Start or do more of the things that I ought to do better and drop things that I should not, do less of or that self sabotage.

I read somewhere on line recently that it can take from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit and an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. Now, I’m not one for New Years resolutions, but I have 50 days to do 50 things that will have a positive habit forming effect on my life to take me into my 50s.

Where to start? Drop me some suggestions 👇