Living the rich life

Our problems can’t be fixed by just having more money. We hear a lot about how the NHS, where I work needs more money. Yes, it does but simply throwing more money at it without a proper, sustainable plan, isn’t the answer. Neither is it the answer for us on a person level. Having more money won’t suddenly make us happier. Money allows us to enjoy different experiences, and not have to worry about a roof over our heads or food in our stomachs. Yet we sometimes see images of people who have little money still leading a rich, simple and fulfilling life.

Its not about the money, it’s about our thinking about the money that creates how we feel about it. Podcast fave Tonya Leigh suggests we should concentrate on living a rich life in the life we have now so that we can become a match for more riches. Riches come in many different ways. Stop putting off feeling good for “one day when…”, stop waiting for the money and start living for it now. We can train our minds to think richly, stop focussing on lack, scarcity and fear and focus on something bigger and greater than where we are. True wealth is not determined by how much you have in the bank but by what you feel.

TL offered some suggestions on how to live a rich life:

Want what you already have – we spend so much time thinking and worrying about what we don’t have, what’s missing from our lives. When we change our focus, we start to see what is abundant in our lives. TL suggests living in that state of appreciation for what we have now, our health, our families and friends, food and all those things we take for granted.
Enjoy and take care of what you already have – we can be so focussed on aiming for the next thing and the next thing that we forget to enjoy what we already have and take really good care of it.
Check your assets – assets doesn’t just mean your bank account and savings. It includes your health, friendships, intellectual capital, physical assets in terms of your home, food and clothing, time. What are the assets you currently have that makes your life so abundant and wealthy? Focus on that to feel rich.
Practice thinking like a rich person – when we think like a rich person we start to feel like a rich person. When we feel like a rich person, we attract more riches. At the core is to train your mind to think abundantly.

We don’t have to buy things in order to be rich. We don’t have to have more ‘stuff’. Just because you’ve got a lot of stuff, doesn’t mean you’re rich. Stop fighting for misery and excuses to feel bad. Start looking for reasons to feel amazing and rich.

There are over three billion people in the world who have no running water in their homes, when you think about your life from that perspective, you’ll see that your life is very, very rich.

Start as you mean to go on

New Years Day morning. A new year ahead that hasn’t been written yet. C made a cooked brunch. I could get used to that 😋.

This year will mark a significant birthday for me. The day this blog is uploaded will mark 50 days until I turn 50. I don’t have any issues with turning 50, it is but a number after all.

The 12 months before I turned 40 I kept a daily diary. I did think of doing something similar for the year that I turned 50 but somehow never got round to it. I guess you could say that I’ve used this blog as a sort of diary, although there’s lots that I haven’t written in a blog that I would have written in a diary.

Starting a new year and a new decade of life gives me the opportunity to start afresh and start as I mean to go on. I could get used to C cooking me breakfast every day but thats not practical or too good for my health. I could take this opportunity to establish some new habits. Start or do more of the things that I ought to do better and drop things that I should not, do less of or that self sabotage.

I read somewhere on line recently that it can take from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit and an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. Now, I’m not one for New Years resolutions, but I have 50 days to do 50 things that will have a positive habit forming effect on my life to take me into my 50s.

Where to start? Drop me some suggestions 👇

New Year, new you

My various social media feeds are already abuzz with suggestions about how to start the new year with a new outlook, or a new plan or a new … (insert anything of newness here). Magazines are already cramming the newsagent shelves with top tips on making 2021 the “best year yet“.

An article I’m currently reading offers 4 such tips.

1. Have a vision of where you want to be. Dream big and realign your mindset to think bigger and be more ambitious.

2. Learn something new. Overcome the fear of new knowledge by reading or watching YouTube videos, or do an online course.

3. Prioritise wellbeing to help focus on success. Stress associated with moving forward should be met with taking time to step back and relax.

4. Strengthen your resolve. Put in the time and effort to gain success. Keep going when things get tough. Implement good habits that support your goals.

Well, that’s all fine and dandy but I find it mildly contradictive. You’ve got to steam ahead with goals and learn new stuff and keep going when things get tough, but chill out and relax. If I’m chilling out and relaxing, how exactly am I embracing my ambition, expanding my knowledge and being more resilient? Unless my goal is to chill out, learn how to chill out properly and I resolve to chill out better. Maybe that’s the answer.

Whatever your vision is, whether you want to learn something new, however strong your resolve is and however good you are with your personal wellbeing, I wish you a happy, healthy and safe New Year.

Transferable Skills

When I talk to members of my team, particularly when they are considering alternative roles, they often tell me that “I can’t do that”. I then take them, line by line, through the job description and ask them why they think they can’t do it.

One person told me once that they weren’t very organised. She was a mother of 3 school age children, a wife, had a full time job and all the family pursuits that go with kids. I asked her to think about how she cooked dinner in the evening. She said that she’d think about what to cook before leaving for work in the morning, when she got home, she’d get everything out of the fridge, put it in the pot/pan, then check in with the kids and their homework, then finish tickling the pot/pan and dish up. I asked how she managed all that to which she replied that it had to be planned and organised. Lightbulb 💡 moment. That means she could organise. Its a transferable skill.

The Psychologies Magazine suggests when you’re thinking about a new career, that by doing a skills audit you can determine if there are any core competencies that need working on. Things to think about are communications, research planning interpersonal and HR, positive attributes, management, leadership and decision making, financial management and critical thinking.

The article also noted that you only need 70% of the skills listed on a job spec to apply for it. Then, once you’ve thought about what skills you have, and worked out what you need and why, the next step is to marry up your skills with your values.

I’m going to conduct the skills audit just to find out where my shortcomings are, and focus on “pivoting a new future“.

Leading to a new path

Its funny how things turn out sometimes.

After feeling stuck in a rut for a while, I’ve been making some noises and needing to do something different and I’ve been investing some energy in to making that happen. I still have a long way until retirement so I need to be enthusiastic about the work I undertake to make it valuable and fulfilling.

As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t have a calling or a vocation. I’ve moved from job to job in line with my strengths or desire to do something different.

As I head into the final months of my 40’s, the thought of changing career, or doing something else is quite daunting. I’ve been fortunate over the years to have been in the right place at the right time, with the right people behind me. This has enabled me to move roles, increase my responsibilities and wage packet to go with it. Those people are no longer at hand and I am becoming that person for others. But I do still need a job that I’m engaged with.

A while back I made some noises about wanting to move away from service management and go back to project management, where my skills are more commensurate. I also want to spend more time doing things that I enjoy (e.g. #bellringing) and to do better at that too.

Deciding that I want to invest more in my own final years of employment and thinking about the “what if…” scenarios has helped me formulate what I want to do.

Its not about the pay packet, I’m not motivated by money, although I do enjoy having some. I need to have purpose, value and satisfaction. I need to feel that I can use my experience, knowledge and skills to contribute to a larger society.

Change is never without its worry. Am I too old to do this? Will I regret it? What if it doesn’t work out? Should I just bite the bullet and hang the consequences?

Two opportunities are currently about to present themselves and I’m going to reach out for both of them. Now is the time to do what I want rather than what I must.

Sleep cures all

How much sleep is too much sleep? And is too much sleep bad for you?

I sleep a lot. I mean, like, A LOT. Sleep seems to be my answer to everything. I’m tired, I sleep. I’m bored, I sleep. I’m ill, I sleep. I’m stressed, I sleep. I’m sat still for more than half an hour, I sleep.

Last year some time, on an incredibly rare Saturday when we had nothing in the diary, we decided to have a lie in, so we didn’t set an alarm. We’d gone to bed about midnight the previous day, and presumably, I’d already had a nap on the sofa before bedtime. So, we woke up around 8am I guess. Really late for us, even on a weekend. I got up, had a shower and got dressed. I sat on the sofa waiting for C to get showered and dressed and had a nap. We wandered in to town a bit later in the morning and when we got back I had another nap. He woke me up for lunch after which I had another nap. He then woke me up for dinner, after which I settled for another nap, before being woken up in time to go to bed… and sleep through until the 7am Sunday alarm.

I’m generally ok of I keep going. If I have an evening meeting, or a #bellringing session, I’m ok and can stay awake, and then I’m usually still buzzing afterwards and that means I can stay awake until midnight or beyond. The moment I stop and sit down is when I could fall asleep fairly instantly.

I have also been known to fall asleep in the cinema. One time I was with a friend watching one of the Pirates of the Caribbean films and I’d said that there was this really clever bit where they walk on the sea bed in and out of the moonlight, and keep changing from humans to skeletons, but then managed to sleep through that very part of the film.

Apparently our metabolic system doesn’t like it if we sleep to much. Sleepfoundation.org suggests that between 7 and 9 hours sleep is ideal for most adults, with some needing around 10 hours kip. Their study suggested that sleeping more than the suggested amount could lead to increased risk of obesity, heart disease, back pain and headaches. An NHS review of this study did find that as a cross sectional study, it could not draw a direct cause and effect relationship between sleep and disease risk, as it could be that the symptoms of heart disease were causing people to sleep more rather than the other way around. They said that the study also didn’t take into account other factors that could have influenced the results such as chronic disease risk, lifestyle choices e.g. smoking and drinking habits. It summarised that having the occasional long snooze is not something to lose sleep over.

I wouldn’t say that I suffer from excessive sleepiness itself, but the act of sleeping seems to cure everything. I’m not necessarily tired but I can’t be hungry, anxious or bored if I’m asleep. 💤

What’s the time Mr Wolf?

British Summer Time ends at 01:00 on Sunday morning and as such clocks are turned back an hour. Depending on where you look, the reasons state that this was to make the most of daylight hours. One site even states that during WW2 British DOUBLE Summer Time was 2 hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) and was temporarily introduced when daylight saving would be in force, and during the winter were kept 1 hour ahead of GMT to increase productivity.

The way I remember which way the clocks go is “spring forward, fall back” . i.e. in spring time we move forward an hour (an hour less in bed) and in autumn, we move back an hour (an hour extra in bed). According to some “fall” used as term for autumn is actually of Germanic origin adopted by 16th century England as a contraction of expressions like “fall of the year”, and not American as some would think.

For most of us, this moment in time will go unnoticed as we’ll be asleep, however I wonder how those working the night shift view it. Particularly those jobs that require time stamped data. For example if someone was giving birth at 01:00 would the baby’s birth certificate show midnight or 01:00 as time of birth? Would that baby actually be an hour older than their birth certificate states? If the police apprehend a criminal during some misdead, was the time of arrest an hour later, so when they ask the question “where were you at 01:00?” the perpetrator could genuinely they were somewhere else.

The task of physically moving clocks back an hour is painful, especially in this house. Modern devices will change automatically but we have so many manual clocks to change that the task starts early in the day on Saturday, resulting in never being entirely sure what the time is all day.

We have the cooker, microwave and wall clock in the kitchen. The hall clock and barometer in the hall. The study clock. Four clocks in the lounge. R’s bedroom clock. Our bedroom clock and the alarm clock. Analogue watches x4. Thankfully mobile phones, tablets, laptops, PC and TV will all update themselves.

Oh, and just for fun, the alarm clock is always 20 minutes ahead so I can wake up gradually before the 06:00 news. The lounge wall clock is half an hour ahead so that we’re not late for things. And the study clock is backwards. No wonder my body clock is hinky and I’m usually awake by 05:00 and asleep again by 21:00.

I shall endeavour to make the most of the extra hour in bed but suspect I’ll be wide awake.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I was having a conversation with someone earlier about how they felt about their current job and they replied that it was nothing like what they’d wanted to be growing up. In formative years they wanted to be a fire fighter but didn’t have the physique to go with it, then in teenage years wanted to do something in mechanics/engineering but was told by their school career adviser that that would be a waste of their academic talent. Then they thought they might go into law but only lasted a term in A levels before deciding it wasn’t for them. Now they find themselves in a low paid 9-5 office admin role which isn’t terribly fulfilling.

We talked around opportunities for retraining and doing something more in line with their creative side but it seemed all the enthusiasm had been sapped out of them.

When I was little, and during teenage years I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up. I still don’t. I have developed into the roles that I’ve had, adapted to the surroundings and been responsible for my own re-education. I wasn’t terribly academic at school and didn’t, and still don’t have, a real vocation in life. I work in areas that I seem to be pretty good at and had opportunities based on past performance and being in the right place at the right time. I would never had said as a younger me, “oh I want to do that job when I’m older“. I doubt whether I would even have known the job I currently do was even a thing.

Our daughter at one point wanted to be a forensic scientist and took all the necessary subjects at GCSE to enable her to take that further. Then an opportunity arrived which put her behind a camera lens. And she found her thing. She was and is effortlessly good at it and pursued it as a career option taking the subject at A level, then going on to study it at university. Sadly, making a career out of photography is exceptionally hard so she’s opted for a more conventional job and keeps her photography skills honed as her hobby. She seems to be doing pretty well in her chosen career at the moment which shows that if you are determined enough, you can progress.

I do wonder whether careers advice sessions are actually useful if they dissuade you from following your dreams and don’t actually have the full gambit of jobs in their basket. No career advisor would have told me I’d be better suited to the job I’m in, for sure.

My advice, for what its worth and what I told our daughter, is to do something you enjoy doing and the rest will come.

I’m still waiting to find out what it is I want to be when I grow up.

That was the week that was

Well, here we are at Sunday already. I’ve had a fantastic week off and feel that I’ve achieved quite a lot really and managed some down time as well. However, I do feel a little anxious about returning to the office tomorrow.

I know that in my diary for Monday morning is interviewing for new staff and I’ve done that so many times, so that’s not going to be a problem. I know that there can’t have been any disasters as I haven’t had any phone calls and I have every confidence in my number two. I know my email in box will have about 500 emails, most of which will be circular stuff that can quickly filtered out. I know that Monday will whizz by pretty quickly as I catch up with things.

I think my real anxiousness actually surrounds the things I still want to do at home and then not having the time during the day and having to rush things in the evenings, not spend quality time with C etc. I do wish sometimes that I could give up work and spend more time on the things I want to do.

However, go to work I must for now so I’ll try and make the best of my last day at home. Albeit housework and lunch preparations for the week ahead. Maybe I’ll get some time later to make a start on reading a new book. Ho hum. 😁

The meaning of dreaming

Dreams are weird. I don’t dream very often but when I do they are just so disjointed.

For me a dream never has a beginning or end, there just seems to be a middle bit of the story. And no one has a head but I do know who they are mostly.

The dream I had in the early hours of this morning was situated in a very white room with a very white shiny table. On my left was Mary and on her left was Alison. These are real people that I work with in the Central Council of Church Bellringers (www.cccbr.org.uk) We were at a National Trust property volunteering. I was new to it but Mary and Alison had been there a while. Opposite was the man in charge who wasn’t anyone I knew, as well as having no head he had no name. He was asking each of us, starting with me, why we wanted to volunteer and what we got out of it. It almost seemed like a job interview.

The trouble is I have no idea how any of us answered this question because I woke up. What’s that all about?

In our daily life we have hopes and dreams about our future, of what we want from life, and we have the power to manifest them into reality if we try. When we’re asleep our dreams are more abstract and are perhaps a jumble of reality and desire.

According to http://www.thedreamzone.com/ “Dreaming is a thinking process. In fact, it is a continuation of your thoughts from the day. That chatter in your head that goes on all day long continues as you drift off to sleep, and, once you enter REM sleep, when dreaming takes place, those thoughts continue in symbols and metaphors instead of in words.”

Well, I have no idea what my dream meant and what “chatter” it was trying to sift through. Perhaps someone could explain 🤔