Going Potty

During the first lockdown our daughter came back home to stay for a couple of months whilst she was furloughed. Along with her came at least a dozen pot plants. Sadly her larger ones that had to be left behind didn’t make it.

Whilst she was at ours she decided to do something constructive so undertook a free on line course about houseplants. She really got into it and every time we went for our daily exercise walk she’d talk about various types of plants and where they’re from and best suited etc. And every time we went anywhere near a shop she’d buy another plant. Even from the supermarket when doing the food shopping. Soon our house was getting over run.

For the last couple of years she’s given me plants for birthday, Christmas and Mothering Sunday. They usually come accompanied by a small piece of paper with hand written information about the plant. And some even have names. Howard the aspidistra is a firm favourite along with Monica the Japonica.

For Christmas we couldn’t spend the time together as we’d hoped so she sent our presents directly. Then she was concerned that the main present wouldn’t arrive in time so sent another one by next day delivery. Well, they both arrived in time and of course were both pot plants.

She’d even paid extra for a lovely outer pot for one of them which according to what she’d been told would be big enough. Well of course it wasn’t, but no matter, we can use it for a different plant instead.

Anyway, one of the plants already seems a bit pot bound and is distorting the shape of the pot its in, so we need to repot it.

His nibs decided that we would use our daily exercise to walk to B&Q to get some new pots and more potting compost. Sounds like a good plan. Kill two birds with one stone. It was only 2 degrees outside so I got dressed up in my big winter coat, hat, scarf and gloves.

Started off ok, nice pace, nippy around the edges but not too bad. Now B&Q isn’t exactly around the corner. The round trip there and back was 6.7 miles and took us 2 hours 22 minutes. And on the way back I was carrying the compost.

By the time we’d almost got home, my arms felt like they were going to drop off, my legs were giving up and I was actually now incredibly warm.

Just for a ruddy pot. This plant better like its new home once its been repotted. I for one can’t move now.

Favourite corner #2

This is my next favourite corner of the house. Its in the new office space set up in the study where I can work from home.

Its not my favourite corner because it means I can work from home, but because the photos that were put on to canvas were taken by daughter before she really knew what she was doing with a camera. She went on to study photography at university.

I used to have these on the wall in my office at work but since I don’t currently have an office to myself, and I’m not always there, I didn’t want them getting lost or taken by someone else. I thought they would make something lovely to look at whilst I am working from home and after some inspiration. They also remind me of my favourite person.

If you Google “good things about corners,” you get a plethora of ideas about how to decorate awkward or empty corners, or design ideas for corner shelves. You also get quotes about turning a corner and such like.

I’m not sure that I’ll manage 10 interesting corners in my house as most of them are full of stuff and either untidy or uninteresting. I might have one more before I might have to move on to the next 50 by 50 thing.

2020 Review of the Year

OK, so let’s join the band wagon of a review of the last year. After all, its been a very different kind of year. Every aspect of every part of life has been impacted one way or another.

Career – started the year thinking it was going to be another year of same old, same old. For the first 3 months that’s exactly how it was. When covid hit it put a lot of things into perspective and I made a decision that, to be honest, had been brewing a while. An opportunity came along to get back into project management, albeit on a secondment. I had to take it for my own sanity. Even though I didn’t start in the new role until December, the thought of it being there was enough to see me through some really horrible months.

Ringing – various ups and downs along the way. Normal routine of Sunday service, monthly quarter peals and weekly practices turned into nothing at all, then maybe 5 people of a Sunday but no practices, then down to just the 2 of us. It looked like we could have gone back up to 5 again for Christmas Day but at the last minute it was not to be. At first I didn’t want to embrace the virtual world of #bellringing. It just didn’t seem worth it. But by May I was running my own weekly practice for family and friends, joining in the odd other online practice and starting to run a monthly district practice and organise a monthly 10 bell practice. Taking full advantage of ringing methods that I wouldn’t normally get to ring in a tower.

Home life – I suppose this is where its hit hardest. We haven’t been able to gather as a family for all the usual events. Mum’s 80th birthday, the May “counting”, R’s birthday, Dad’s birthday. No holiday, no ringing weekends. No visits to North Lincolnshire or Hemel Hempstead or Nottingham. No Cake International Show. We did manage to get a couple of day trips to see R when we were all allowed to mix in small groups again but towards the end of the year it became impossible again. We did set up a regular fortnightly family Skype so we could all keep in touch and at least see each other on a screen if not in person.And of course Christmas was very different. No car boot present swap, no drinking Baileys with R. Just a low key day with C, and chatting with family on Skype.

Cakes – as we haven’t had the usual gathering I’ve not needed to bake as many cakes. I did make a small one for mum’s 80th, a friends 60th and Dad’s birthday, but they only needed to be small ones. I have tried some other bakes instead and been mostly up to date with my BakedIn boxes. I’ve tried a few other recipes too, and did manage to get to a socially distanced class with my favourite teacher at @thecupcakeoven to learn how to make cakecicles and heart gems. I didn’t need to make a Christmas cake as we’re not massive fans of it and we got so much food in the hampers that people sent us. I’m hoping that there’ll be more opportunity for cake in 2021.

I suppose I’m quite fortunately really in that I’ve still been able to go to work and keep some semblance of routine. I’m reasonably tech savvy so have been able to embrace video conferencing and Ringing Room. And of course, the most important bit is that I have managed to stay healthy, as has the rest of the family.

Nothing is going to dramatically change as the clock strikes midnight and a new year starts. But there is hope on the horizon. My colleagues are going through an incredibly tough time and are on their knees trying to keep everyone else healthy but with little support and those idiots that flout the rules and put everyone else at risk. But I do have a sense that we will come out of this the other side. Things will be different and we won’t go back to the way things were, or at least I hope not. We have proven that we can work and play differently.

We did a thing… again

The wonders of technology and the inspiration of the inventors of Ringing Room means that we get to ring bells from the comfort of our own homes on our computers.

Bank Holiday Monday gave us another opportunity to try for another family quarter peal on Ringing Room with representation from Essex, North Lincolnshire and Nottingham.

Timed to start early enough in the morning so we have time to do other things during the day, but late enough for either a bit of a lay in and a lazy start to the day, or to get something done beforehand for those with more enthusiasm for that sort of thing.

Although not #bellringing on tower bells, I’m still counting these virtual quarters within my records as they still require the same level of concentration, take the same length of time to complete, and for some, require the same level of learning. I know some people are not counting them in their personal records as they are not rung on tower bells.

Both the Central Council of Church Bell Ringers and The Ringing World are counting them as “distributed” and therefore recognising their legitimacy but acknowledging that they don’t require the same physical exertion.

This latest one brings my total for 2020 to 7 quarter peals. Not bad considering we’ve not been able to ring with others since March. We rang 4 tower bell quarters in the first 3 months then 3 Ringing Room quarters in the last couple of months.

My overall total is now 412 quarter peals. Considering how long I’ve been ringing you could argue that that’s not many but I think its a reasonable total when you consider opportunities. There was a whole period where I just didn’t ring any at all.

I actually enjoyed ringing the Ringing Room quarters and perhaps…. I could stretch to a peal. 🤔

7 years thrown away

As the epic clearance of the study continues multiple boxes of our daughters secondary school exercise books have just been deposited at the recycling centre ♻️.

Every book she had written in during her 7 years at high school was kept, for who knows what reason. How long should these thing be kept? She certainly doesn’t want them and they are of no value to anyone, so why do we, as parents, feel the need to keep such stuff?

I did have a flick through some of them and it was pleasing to see some of the teachers’ comments on work that she’d done well, and interesting to see some of the comments on things she hadn’t.

There were also some art and DT things she’d made that are no use to man nor beast. I did seek permission before we embarked on this process and her response was “just get rid“. Clearly she feels no attachment.

Of course we’ve kept school reports, certificates and achievements, but keeping all of this extra stuff seems futile, so why did we do it in the first place?

Everything a child does or produces is precious and important. It was their hard work, so who am I to decide what might be important to her in the future.

I didn’t have this much trouble throwing out my own degree papers. Once it was done, it was finished with. But that was my choice. Throwing out something which technically belongs to someone else is harder.

I suppose its another acknowledgement of the fact that she doesn’t live her anymore. Not permanently any way. Her room will always be her room and she will always have that space to visit or return to if she needs it. She needed it during lockdown #1 but so far lockdown #2 looks more stable from her work perspective, and she has a good flat mate to stay with, who is unlikely to be able to return to his family home.

Just the next phase in parenting. Letting go of those innocent (🤣) years.

Two of my favourite things

With lockdown version 2.0 imminent it seemed rather fortuitous that I have this week off work and we arranged to meet R on her day off, and the weather was on our side too.

A straightforward drive to Surrey, giving R enough time for a bit of a sleep in and to wake up and get ready. We had instructions to deliver a few things. R’s flatmate had to work this afternoon so we only had a brief chance for a hello.

R decided that she would take us for a walk along the Thames Path. They’ve done bits of it between Kingston and Kew but not the whole way. Our plan today was to walk as far as Richmond then decide whether to continue to Kew then get the bus back, or turn around and walk back.

By the time we got to Richmond we decided that is was time for a #latelunch. Having repleated ourselves we agreed to continue on to Kew.

Our journey took us past the Richmond Weir and Teddington Lock. As we were walking back towards the river after lunch we passed the site of Richmond Palace, and I confess to letting out a bit of a squeal whilst taking a photo of the plaque that commemorates the place of so many a Tudor story.

By the time we got to Kew it was dark. We didn’t have to wait long for a bus which stops just around the corner from R’s place.

Given that we may not see her in the flesh again this side of Christmas, I’m so glad that we were able to see her. Thankfulky, she has a protected profession but they are still talking about downsizing during this lockdown, so she’s waiting to hear. Her flatmate will be furloughed again as his job is not protected. Fingers crossed they’ll be OK. I’m glad they have each other and if the tally chart on the fridge was anything to go by, they seem to be good at making their own entertainment. R is winning at hangman, noughts and crosses and pretty much every game they’ve been playing.

My legs are aching but my heart is full, having seen my little girl and seeing for myself that she’s OK.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I was having a conversation with someone earlier about how they felt about their current job and they replied that it was nothing like what they’d wanted to be growing up. In formative years they wanted to be a fire fighter but didn’t have the physique to go with it, then in teenage years wanted to do something in mechanics/engineering but was told by their school career adviser that that would be a waste of their academic talent. Then they thought they might go into law but only lasted a term in A levels before deciding it wasn’t for them. Now they find themselves in a low paid 9-5 office admin role which isn’t terribly fulfilling.

We talked around opportunities for retraining and doing something more in line with their creative side but it seemed all the enthusiasm had been sapped out of them.

When I was little, and during teenage years I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up. I still don’t. I have developed into the roles that I’ve had, adapted to the surroundings and been responsible for my own re-education. I wasn’t terribly academic at school and didn’t, and still don’t have, a real vocation in life. I work in areas that I seem to be pretty good at and had opportunities based on past performance and being in the right place at the right time. I would never had said as a younger me, “oh I want to do that job when I’m older“. I doubt whether I would even have known the job I currently do was even a thing.

Our daughter at one point wanted to be a forensic scientist and took all the necessary subjects at GCSE to enable her to take that further. Then an opportunity arrived which put her behind a camera lens. And she found her thing. She was and is effortlessly good at it and pursued it as a career option taking the subject at A level, then going on to study it at university. Sadly, making a career out of photography is exceptionally hard so she’s opted for a more conventional job and keeps her photography skills honed as her hobby. She seems to be doing pretty well in her chosen career at the moment which shows that if you are determined enough, you can progress.

I do wonder whether careers advice sessions are actually useful if they dissuade you from following your dreams and don’t actually have the full gambit of jobs in their basket. No career advisor would have told me I’d be better suited to the job I’m in, for sure.

My advice, for what its worth and what I told our daughter, is to do something you enjoy doing and the rest will come.

I’m still waiting to find out what it is I want to be when I grow up.

Self portrait

I’m going on a course soon to do with work and as part of the preparation they’ve asked me to send them a short bio and a photograph of myself to go in the course pack.

I HATE having my photo taken. There are very few of me about, I’m not photogenic and why the heck would any one want my ugly mug staring at them.

Also, the request for bio information stated “send a brief profile write up mentioning your role, hobbies and anything you’d like the other participants to know“. The first two bits are easy. I know what my job is and, well basically its bells and baking. But how would I know what other people might want to know about me. How far do I take this?

My favourite colour is burgundy, I like orange Smarties. I drive xx car, I have un frere et deux soeurs (as we used to trot out in French classes). Married, daughter, home…

How much could anyone possibly be interested in?

I turned to trusty old Google and typed in “what should I write in a short bio”. Google suggested that I should include my goals and aspirations, the 2-3 most impressive and relevant achievements and a quirky fact about myself.

OK, so the Smarties thing is in. Hmm, goals and aspirations. To get through life as best I can, you can’t see what’s coming round the corner. 2-3 impressive and relevant achievements. I don’t know. I’ve done some stuff and some of it has been OK but I’m not sure that it’s relevant to the course context.

I’ve kept my bio very short. It’s of little interest to anyone else I’m sure. It’ll be interesting in itself to see how much and what things others have written.

Optimistic October

Every month I download a copy of the Action for Happiness Calendar. I don’t always do what it suggests but sometimes things are relevant or a good reminder to do something positive. As today is the 1st October, todays new month starts with writing down your most important goals for this month.

OK, where to start….

1. Get new job description – I am aware that a secondment opportunity is in the offing and its something that appeals to me. I know that the JD is being authorised, so the job should be being advertised soon. Need to sharpen up my Expression of Interest notes.

2. Find more ways to spend quality time with C and R – there has been an awful lot of things going on at the moment with work, ringing meetings, talks etc that sometimes it feels that C and I don’t spend any real time being together. Getting to see R now is more difficult too as her working patterns have changed so her days off no longer coincide with mine. I need to give some priority to finding things that we can do together that mean we spend actual time with each other to the exclusion of it being perfunctory, like putting in a new front door. Sure, we will spend time together to do that but it’s a job that needs doing, not something that is necessarily spending quality time together.

3. Focus on some PR activities – as you know I’m the PRO for both my local #bellringing association and the Central Council of Church Bellringers and we need to get some more good news out in the public domain.

4. Bake – I want to carry on with the weekly baking challenge of making something from the collection of magazines that I’ve accumulated.

5. Lose weight – probably counter intuitive given #4, but I really must put more effort into this area instead of just playing at it. My overall health will thank me for it.

There are probably many more smaller ticket things to focus on too, but by spending more time on each of these bigger areas, my whole wellbeing should be much improved and I will feel more resilient and ready to tackle most things.

Family time

Since lockdown has prevented meeting up as a large family group, there are several events that we would have normally arranged a gathering for. However, the wonders of technology does mean that we can see and talk to each other, albeit virtually.

Every other Sunday we have a family Skype call with parents, siblings and “the youngsters” i.e. our daughter and nephew, when they are available. We are scattered by distance across various parts of Essex, Hertfordshire, Surrey, Portsmouth, and North Lincolnshire. Our daughter is in Surrey and often has to work at weekends and our nephew is at University and has other things to occupy him.

This week all but our daughter were able to log on together. We had a separate session with R when she got home from work.

It works out really well when J has a list of questions for everybody. That way everyone gets to find out everyone else’s news and updates. The one time that didn’t happen it all descended into chaos with everyone talking over each other. But this week’s was back on track.

Even though we can’t meet up, at least our family still manages to see and talk to each other. I know for many others, even that is not possible.

This week we spent an hour and a half with the larger family chat, then another hour with our daughter catching up on her news. Things are going from strength to strength for her and despite what could have been quite a difficult time for her during lockdown, she’s fallen on her feet and seems really settled now. The wonders of technology means we can see her as well as talk to her and we can see for ourselves that she’s good.

Happy bubba means happy mumma.