Love language and laptops

At work I have two monitors, which until I had them, I didn’t realise I needed.  With multiple windows opened, it’s remarkable the difference it makes to be able to have two things on view at the same time.  At home, C has two monitors on our main PC, but I just have my laptop that sits on my desk, not really at the right height either. 

This past week, thanks to the latest Covid instructions, I’ve been working from home again.  I have been using my work laptop, and back to only having one screen.  It’s not the end of the world, there are far greater things to be concerned with, but suddenly it did make a difference. 

I happened to mention this to C the other day, and how useful it had been on a Zoom call recently to be able to have everyone on one screen whilst the document I was sharing with them was on the other.  I suggested that it might be an idea to check the post-Christmas sales to see what bargains were to be had.

Next thing I know…

A pole that can have a monitor attached one side and a laptop resting on a metal tray on the other arrived one day.  A mahoosive 24” monitor arrived the next.  An hour or so later, I have a new home office set up with a massive screen directly in front and my laptop slightly off to the right.  He said that when he checked the website there was little in way of stock and what was there was already discounted so he thought he’d get it now.

Now, I am extremely grateful of course, but it got me wondering about a podcast I’d listened to about 18 months or so ago all about Love Languages. The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman which he distilled from his experience in marriage counselling. The five love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Not everyone communicates love in the same way, and likewise, people have different ways they prefer to receive love.

Its clear that C likes to express his love language as acts of service.  He does so much for so many in many different ways.  It can be from making my coffee in the morning, to all the work he does for the #bellringing community locally, to fixing things, booking things, arranging things and generally providing. Don’t get me wrong, I love having things sorted out for me, my coffee made, my dinner cooked (to be fair he is retired and I’m still at full time work), and things around the house done for me, but I do miss cooking sometimes.  And sometimes he’ll take over doing things, even when I don’t really want or need him to. 

I like receiving gifts, and I don’t know many people who don’t, but I think my love language would actually be a combination of quality time and physical touch.  I’d rather spend time with him, and those closest to me, and to feel physical connection, even though I’m not really a touchy, feely sort. We do often hold hands when we’re sitting on the sofa watching tv, and our feet usually interlace when we’re asleep in bed. I do like to hug our daughter.  We don’t get to see her very often so its nice when we do, and she leans in for a hug or presents the top of her head for a kiss.  Even now she’s 24, it feels lovely when we’re sitting on the sofa and she leans in and puts her head on my shoulder, even if it’s only for a few seconds. 

I am extremely grateful for my new home office set up and look forward to getting used to what pops up on each screen.  It’ll be fun rearranging the desk items multiple times until I’m happy with them.

Thank you Mr C.