Why self love matters

My next foray in to the School of Self Image with Tonya Leigh looks at why self love matters. Have you missed her guidance over the last few days?

TL noted that if you’ve ever been in love with someone the first few months are full of passion, romance, attentiveness, excitement and desire.  The world suddenly feels warm and light instead of dull and gloomy.  When you are in love chemicals in your brain create a sense of euphoria and pleasure.  It has you doing those silly, giddy things like waking up early, dancing around to music, taking time getting ready. Resentment, doom and gloom and judgement melt away.

In the early stages of a new relationship you treat it with care, attentively.  You are present and discovering more about the other person.  You keep your promises. You don’t see the flaws in the other person.  You give the relationship your full attention.

Do you treat yourself in the same way?

TL suggested that we tend to criticise ourselves, beat ourselves up over our mistakes, and then beat ourselves up over beating ourselves up.  We resent the past and dread the future.  We mistreat our bodies and retreat to avoid feelings.  We end up finding distractions to avoid being with ourselves.

She proffers that if you want to attract love into your life, want to be happy and healthy, want to have a fulfilling career, wake up with a passion for life and exude confidence by treating yourself as you would treat a new lover.  Treat yourself with compassion. Forgive yourself.  Commit to becoming your own lover. Lovers rarely criticise, make nasty judgements or crude comments about each other.  They respect, love and connect to each other.

Nothing you desire for yourself comes from self-hatred.  Once you deeply love yourself you can no longer abandon yourself by self-destruction.  You no longer treat yourself as worthless, or have to prove that you are deserving.  You no longer let yourself down by not showing up for yourself, nor allow others to trample all over you. Instead you are connected to your body, needs and life.  You respect your body as it is.  You take control of your own time.  You show up for what you decide is important.  You love deeply and have fierce boundaries.

The only person who can change it is you.  Starting with a fierce commitment to loving yourself.  Its not easy.  It begins with a decision, followed by constant awareness and courage.

TL suggested looking for something to love every day. It could be the sunset, music, your coffee.  Show yourself some love by buying yourself some flowers, pay attention to your feelings and say no without explanation.

When you deeply love yourself there is nothing you cannot do, overcome or create.  You’ll never feel alone or bored, or abandoned.  You’ll be glowing like a person in love.

I may regret asking this but how do you plan to be your own lover this week?

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

Oscar Wilde