Draw things out, don’t push them in.

Our #MSEBuddyNetwork session yesterday was led by Chris Sheepshanks, a developer of organisational coaching programmes. He was very engaging and a real find.

He talked about coaching as being a tool to help others draw things out, rather than for you to push your ideas on to others. He said that a good coachong session should help the individual have a greater awareness of what they are doing in order to take responsibility for their actions leading to understanding what choices can be made to move forward.

Chris mentioned 5 principles:

1 -Slow down to speed up. We usually spend more time deciding what needs to be done and doing it that we don’t give enough time to reflecting and connecting in order to find our own purpose. Coaching should help people have a better conversation with themselves by facilitating pause and reflect.

2- Sustained high performance. We spend so much time on trying to achieve what it is we want to achieve without giving thought to learning, growing, stretching and developing ourselves. We need to find enjoyment in what we do and find a sense of purpose.

3 – Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Its easy to do what you’ve always done and natural to stay there but we won’t learn anything if that’s where we stop. Learning gives us a slight touch of discomfort and vulnerability but a good coach should be careful not to push too hard and risk over exposing or withdrawal.

4 – Trust & Rapport. To truly have a transformative conversation there needs to be a strong sense of trust between coach and coachee that supports an honest and openness with others.

5 – Enable Others to Play a Better Inner Game. Tim Galway says that everyone has the potential to perform but that not everyone performs to their potential. The interference that stops that by way of fear and self-doubt it what stops us.

I think that last point is significant for me. I’ve spoken before about my imposter syndrome holding me back and sometimes I do go for the easy option of familiarity and being comfortable, or even putting things in the “too difficult ” box and put off having to deal with it.

Having thought about this a bit, I am currently in the process of taking stock, to increase my awareness of what I’m doing and why, and take responsibility for learning, growing and developing in to what I want to manifest. Then I’ll make a decision on what direction to go in based on informed choices. For now, that might be taking some time to slow down to reflect and connect, in order to speed up.