Things that are just not worth your time

We waste so much time on things that don’t bring joy and value to our lives. That don’t align with who we want to be and what we want to create. Have you ever conducted a time inventory and really analysed how you spend your time? How we spend our time is a reflection on the quality of our life.

Using time wisely is one of the best acts of self-love we can give ourselves. Having strict rules around where and when and on what we spend our time can give us the space to create our lives. Looking at the discrepancies between the reality and the desire of our lives side by side can be enlightening. The key is to choose how we use the hours we have by avoiding things that waste our time we regain more time to create, love, enjoy and live.

My mate Tonya Leigh suggested we should list the things we should stop doing that are wasting our time, here are some of hers, and mine suggestions:

Using our best persuasion tactics in an attempt to change our mind or talk ourselves out of, or in to something;
Explaining to others the details of why. We shouldn’t need to explain why we don’t want to do something or need to change or cancel plans. We don’t need to explain our lives away.
Obsessing with perfectionism. Done is better than perfect. Do your best then move on.
Questioning our own ability to do, say or be something. Acknowledge our inner critic, but don’t indulge it.
Waiting in long queues to buy the latest thing, or tickets for an event or be the first to have something. So what if you’re not the first to have it? It’ll nearly always still be there once the queue has died down.
Spending hours and hours on social media so that we don’t miss out on anything. Dip in and out and use the rest of the time to do something of value. If it’s important we know something, someone will tell us.
Following through on the obligatory “yes, let’s get together”, when you can’t fit it in or simply don’t want to.
Keeping up with the latest trend, beauty, fashion, gadget etc. Do you, not everyone else.
Fuelling committing to the impossible job of making sure others like us. It’s our job to like ourselves and accept others either like us or they don’t. What others think of us is none of our business. What we think of ourselves is most definitely our business. Personally, I’d rather spend time with people I don’t need to try to convince.
Fanning, caressing and swaddling our stories from the past. Let it go, it’s done. Enjoy today and look to a bright future.
Making lists of all the things we don’t have. Wake up to all the things we do have and appreciate them.
Poking our noses into other people’s drama, even when we’re trying to be helpful. I personally don’t have time for other people’s crazy.
Spending hours in the gym. We shouldn’t waste time obsessing over the perfect body, but love the one we have. Going for a walk or doing anything that moves our bodies is good enough.
Insisting on cleaning before getting on with what we should be doing. I have no interest in being a cleaner and we have too much stuff in our house to bother too much about it. Cleaning before getting on with things is just a distraction task and often not really productive.
Committing to get better at things we should and could be better at but don’t really want to. We don’t need to be the best at everything and I would personally rather spend the time doing things that I’m naturally good at (if only I knew what that was). Accept our own strengths then use other people’s strengths to fill in the gaps.
Preparing gourmet dinners that should be on the front of Good Food magazine. Don’t make it complicated. Eat well and simply.
Placating the negative nay-sayers. If they cannot believe and support our personal dreams, they don’t deserve to be around us when those dreams come true. This doesn’t include those who hold a different opinion as discussion and challenge are always beneficial. Just those who tell us it’s not possible, or it’ll never work.
Holding pity parties for one with a dose of self-loathing. Nothing good comes from hating ourselves. We have the choice whether to hate or love ourselves.
Refreshing the email inbox again, and again, and again. Checking emails hundreds of times a day is not productive; it’s a distraction from focussing on what’s truly important.
Indulging in trash. Whether its trashy tv or social media, we know what’s trash by the way it makes us feel.
Beating ourselves up over wasting time. Sometimes it’s inevitable. How we chose to spend our time is such an individual thing. We should make a commitment not to waste time but not beat ourselves up when it does happen. We can’t be perfect all the time, remember?

The idea is to master the art of how we spend our time and energy, to tweak it to align with our desires.

What would be on your list of things to stop wasting time doing?

Making the most of time

No surprises but there are 24 hours in a day. How we spend them is our choice. Whether we spend them wisely is debatable. Some people profess to be really good at time management whilst others feel that there isn’t enough time to get everything done. Is time slipping away from us or are we wasting it?

The latest dossier in Psychologies Magazine goes into some detail about where commitment lies, understanding procrastination, understanding how we currently spend our time and prioritising what’s important. It offers some advice on timekeeping tips for the proverbial laters. Then comes the inevitable 10 question test to determine what stops you making the most of your time.

My results indicated the dominant trait of overthinking, putting hours into mulling over events, conversations, decisions and tasks. This leads to being overwhelmed and worry that others seem to be more productive. Others may be unaware the extent of the overthinking because the outward impression is one of calm. It suggests that I should schedule worry time and limit it to 15 minutes.

A close second was overcommitment, a difficulty in saying no to opportunity and helping others. But if that time does not align with core values it will undermine wellbeing. The challenge here is to find space in my life to connect with the people I love and nurture new connections. Resist the urge to fill all the time up.

Both easier said than done. Today for example. First day back at work after 2 weeks off. By midday I was already feeling that I’d had enough. I didn’t want to be there. By the end if the day I was starting to seriously consider my get out strategy. I had a meeting in the evening I had a zoom call which was fine, not anything stressful, just a bit of preplanned for something which may, or may not, be happening next week.

I’ll try and give tomorrow a fresh start and not worry about the things that I can’t do anything about. And it’ll be C’s birthday so I intend to spend the evening with him and not worrying about what else still needs to be done.

A weekend away

Due to Covid, like most other people we haven’t had a holiday, or even a night away from home.

When we came out of the first lockdown we booked a weekend away as something to look forward to. Then we went into Tiers and then into a second lockdown. We wondered whether this trip would have to be cancelled.

As we came out of the second lockdown, locally we were put into Tier 2. Fortunately so was the location we had booked into. This has meant that we could indeed still have our weekend away.

We arrived at our hotel and felt very safe with the precautions they’ve put in place. Masks to be worn throughout the hotel unless you’re eating. The Housekeeping staff deep cleaned the room before our arrival. And I used to manage the hospital’s domestic services team so I know what a deep clean should look like. The Housekeeping staff will now not enter our room again until after we’ve left. I’m sure we can cope without the bed being changed/made, or the towels changed for a few days (they’ve left more than plenty in the bathroom anyway).

We booked in to have our evening meals at the hotel too as we weren’t sure what was in the local area and whether it had to be booked in advance, so figured that this was the best solution.

We have booked tickets for a National Trust property and plan to have a good look around our location too, and hit some shops and a Christmas Market in the Corn Exchange.

Can’t express how good it is to get away for a couple of nights and spend some time together, chilling. The weather could be better but it is December after all. We’ve come prepared.

What’s the time Mr Wolf?

British Summer Time ends at 01:00 on Sunday morning and as such clocks are turned back an hour. Depending on where you look, the reasons state that this was to make the most of daylight hours. One site even states that during WW2 British DOUBLE Summer Time was 2 hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) and was temporarily introduced when daylight saving would be in force, and during the winter were kept 1 hour ahead of GMT to increase productivity.

The way I remember which way the clocks go is “spring forward, fall back” . i.e. in spring time we move forward an hour (an hour less in bed) and in autumn, we move back an hour (an hour extra in bed). According to some “fall” used as term for autumn is actually of Germanic origin adopted by 16th century England as a contraction of expressions like “fall of the year”, and not American as some would think.

For most of us, this moment in time will go unnoticed as we’ll be asleep, however I wonder how those working the night shift view it. Particularly those jobs that require time stamped data. For example if someone was giving birth at 01:00 would the baby’s birth certificate show midnight or 01:00 as time of birth? Would that baby actually be an hour older than their birth certificate states? If the police apprehend a criminal during some misdead, was the time of arrest an hour later, so when they ask the question “where were you at 01:00?” the perpetrator could genuinely they were somewhere else.

The task of physically moving clocks back an hour is painful, especially in this house. Modern devices will change automatically but we have so many manual clocks to change that the task starts early in the day on Saturday, resulting in never being entirely sure what the time is all day.

We have the cooker, microwave and wall clock in the kitchen. The hall clock and barometer in the hall. The study clock. Four clocks in the lounge. R’s bedroom clock. Our bedroom clock and the alarm clock. Analogue watches x4. Thankfully mobile phones, tablets, laptops, PC and TV will all update themselves.

Oh, and just for fun, the alarm clock is always 20 minutes ahead so I can wake up gradually before the 06:00 news. The lounge wall clock is half an hour ahead so that we’re not late for things. And the study clock is backwards. No wonder my body clock is hinky and I’m usually awake by 05:00 and asleep again by 21:00.

I shall endeavour to make the most of the extra hour in bed but suspect I’ll be wide awake.