Tag: #joyful

What will make you happier in 2022?

Happiness is a state of mind, not a trait, and therefore not a permanent feature.  According to some experts 10-50% of our happiness comes down to genetics, the rest is up to us.  But just like learning an instrument, or learning to ring bells, we can learn to be happier.

If you’re a regular to my blog you’ll know I occasionally get sucked in by those ten question quizzes that are supposed to be able to define you and then offer you a way of self-development.  Sometimes they are fairly accurate, others way off, and sometimes I find it hard to accurately respond to the multiple choice answers as none of them really fit, so end up picking the best of the bunch, even though it may not reflect my feelings at all.

In such a quiz in February’s Woman & Home magazine, the questions are reduced to just seven in their quiz to determine how to make 2022 the best year yet.  Out of those seven questions four of them didn’t really have answers that were accurate for me, and even the second best option wasn’t that close.  However, the results were still fairly accurate:

“Work on – being more confident.  You’re kind and generous, but be careful not to give all your energy to other people.  Your fear of making mistakes may be holding you back.

Try the “one for me” rule – when you give someone a compliment, mentally give one to yourself.

Remember to practice failure – the only way you’ll learn is to try, fail and try again. Practise failing in situations where it doesn’t really matter. You’ll normalise failure as a part of life”.

To some point I agree. I don’t think it’s my fear of making mistakes that holds me back.  Everyone makes mistakes and that’s now we learn.  For me its more a fear of being discovered as an imposter, not knowing what I’m talking about, being somewhere I shouldn’t. 

I have noticed more recently, where I’ve held back from saying what I really want to say because it won’t make matters any easier, or not wanting to add fuel to the fire, I have noticed where not to say something doesn’t add any value, I have acknowledged that to myself.  A sort of compliment for not making things worse.

As I said, failing at something is how we learn.  We won’t get everything right every time, we’re only human.  There will be times where I say something I shouldn’t, or do or not to something, whether it’s at work, #bellringing or in my home and social life.  The important part is that I learn from that mistake and try not to do it again, and where necessary make an appropriate apology if it caused distress or problems for others.

I’m not entirely sure how I am supposed to translate this result into actions that will make me any happier.

Bring back the Joy

Image by Tasy Hong from Pixabay

Over the years, as we take on more responsibilities, work, family and navigate our way through life, we can sometimes lose the joy and spark of our youth.  We can get sucked in by others that gradually chip away at our joyfulness. I know I have experienced this.  I used to be a lot more adventurous, outgoing and playful, but as I have grown older, settled down, become and wife and mother, and had a good career, a fair chunk of that has worn away. Like anything else to relearn and cultivate more joy in our lives we need to practice it every day.

If you don’t give something your attention it has absolutely no power of you.

If you ignore the critics, the snidey comments, the naysayers, those who seem to know better, the negativity and negative people around you, you are less likely to experience it, allowing more room for joy.  If you don’t give it your attention, you don’t experience it.  There’s no need to get involved in social media rebuttals, simply block, delete or ignore. There’s no need to get sucked into a pit of despair from constantly watching the news.

I had a case just this week where I read what someone had posted on a Facebook group that wound me up. For about half an hour, I kept going back to the post to see if anyone had made further comment.  It had actually made me quite upset and ready to throw the towel in. I was expecting a further onslaught from everyone else who may have had an opinion one way or the other.  Then I remembered that my reaction to it was my responsibility and why should I let someone else, who has no idea what’s going on in my world, ruin my day.  I made a conscious decision to ignore it. There was one further comment made by the original poster, and a couple of likes but no one else seemed to have waded in, so I decided to move on.  I did actually feel much better for not giving it my attention when I would have previous festered over it and worried about other people would be saying.  I chose to ignore and move on.

This is not to say that we should ignore everything we don’t like that’s going on around us, not bury our heads in the sand, or take responsibility for our words and actions.  It comes back to the point I have made before about how you choose to respond and how much of your time and energy you want to give to something that ultimately gets you down and evaporates your joy.

My favourite ever band, Duran Duran, have recently released a track called More Joy, here’s what they have to say:

“I know where this is going (more joy)

I’m looking at you

I like where it’s going (more joy)

Are you coming too?

I know where this is going (more joy)

I’m looking at you

I like where it’s going (more joy)

Are you coming too?“