What will make you happier in 2022?

Happiness is a state of mind, not a trait, and therefore not a permanent feature.  According to some experts 10-50% of our happiness comes down to genetics, the rest is up to us.  But just like learning an instrument, or learning to ring bells, we can learn to be happier.

If you’re a regular to my blog you’ll know I occasionally get sucked in by those ten question quizzes that are supposed to be able to define you and then offer you a way of self-development.  Sometimes they are fairly accurate, others way off, and sometimes I find it hard to accurately respond to the multiple choice answers as none of them really fit, so end up picking the best of the bunch, even though it may not reflect my feelings at all.

In such a quiz in February’s Woman & Home magazine, the questions are reduced to just seven in their quiz to determine how to make 2022 the best year yet.  Out of those seven questions four of them didn’t really have answers that were accurate for me, and even the second best option wasn’t that close.  However, the results were still fairly accurate:

“Work on – being more confident.  You’re kind and generous, but be careful not to give all your energy to other people.  Your fear of making mistakes may be holding you back.

Try the “one for me” rule – when you give someone a compliment, mentally give one to yourself.

Remember to practice failure – the only way you’ll learn is to try, fail and try again. Practise failing in situations where it doesn’t really matter. You’ll normalise failure as a part of life”.

To some point I agree. I don’t think it’s my fear of making mistakes that holds me back.  Everyone makes mistakes and that’s now we learn.  For me its more a fear of being discovered as an imposter, not knowing what I’m talking about, being somewhere I shouldn’t. 

I have noticed more recently, where I’ve held back from saying what I really want to say because it won’t make matters any easier, or not wanting to add fuel to the fire, I have noticed where not to say something doesn’t add any value, I have acknowledged that to myself.  A sort of compliment for not making things worse.

As I said, failing at something is how we learn.  We won’t get everything right every time, we’re only human.  There will be times where I say something I shouldn’t, or do or not to something, whether it’s at work, #bellringing or in my home and social life.  The important part is that I learn from that mistake and try not to do it again, and where necessary make an appropriate apology if it caused distress or problems for others.

I’m not entirely sure how I am supposed to translate this result into actions that will make me any happier.