Tag: #improvement

Two questions to ask yourself to make you proud

Image by Simy27 from Pixabay

I am trying to catch up on some long overdue queued podcasts and the one I’m enjoying at the moment is a lifestyle commentary.  It’s quite interesting from the perspective of the narrator, who lives in the US, somewhere idyllic by the sounds of it, and lives a very different life to me.  I’m not pretending I want to emulate her lifestyle, but she does say some things that get you thinking about your perspective and how you treat yourself.

In the latest episode I listened to, which I think was actually recorded in January 2015 (I have to listen to podcasts from the very beginning and this is a new one on my list so I’m still early doors) the narrator offered two questions that you should ask yourself that would make you proud in the year ahead.

1) what will I no longer accept from myself and others this year?

2) what high standards will I create for myself?

The hypotheses offered suggested that you would receive what you are willing to accept.  If you accept someone’s poor behaviour towards you that is what you will continue to receive.  If you accept poor health due to poor diet then you will continue to have poor health due to diet.  If you accept poor quality or standards that is what you will receive. These things are within your grasp to change.

Setting high standards for yourself is about self-care, professional life, living a beautiful, elegant, fulfilled life.  This isn’t about spending lots of money to have lots of material things but could be simple ideas like not allowing yourself to be spoken to or treated in certain ways, or educating yourself so that you can do well in your professional life, or simply going for a walk in nature, enjoying the simple, free things in life that give you joy. 

The narrator is clear to point out it is important not to beat yourself up when you don’t meet your own high standards, and acknowledge that every now and then, you will be unable to meet them whether through health, environment and other things that sometimes get in the way and by necessity take priority.

I spent a bit of time considering how to answer those two questions:

1) I will no longer accept my opinion is any less valid than anyone else’s and if I have something to say, I will say it.

2) I will no longer accept I must be at the beck and call of others during my own time.  I will answer emails or phone calls when I’m ready.

3) I will no longer accept feeling guilty when I buy something expensive, for myself, using my own money.

4) I will buy quality things, which may be more expensive, but they will last longer.

5) I will endeavour to buy ethically.

6) I will glam up my style a bit so I can feel more elegant for no one else’s benefit except my own.

7) I will invest time and effort in my own wellbeing.

8) I will stop complaining or speaking negatively.

9) I will have fresh flowers in the house more often.

10) I will bake more frequently.

11) I will wear skirts and dresses more often.

12) I will speak more softly and not swear.

It’s a small start and I shall undoubtedly fail at some point, but everything has to start somewhere.

What does outstanding look like?

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I am doing a piece of gap analysis work and using the NHS change model gap analysis tool to help with this.  Over the space of nine different tabs in a spreadsheet, the tool covers:

  • Shared purpose
  • Leadership by all
  • Motivate and mobilise
  • System drivers
  • Measurement
  • Project and performance management
  • Improvement tools
  • Spread and adoption
  • GAP tool

The last one is basically a pictorial representation of the scores entered in to each of the other tabs on where we are now and where we want to be, in a range for zero to ten in radar diagrams.

On each of the other tabs, the same three questions are asked with a different emphasis:

  1. What does outstanding look and feel like?
  2. What works well?
  3. What would be even better if…?

Of course, this is a work based tool, but it could so easily be used for everyday life too. The whole point of a gap analysis is to reflect on where we are now versus where we want to be in the future.  Then we can consider what actions are required to get us there and in what timeframe.

Even if we were to look at this as an individual wanting to make changes in our lives, we can consider each of these, for example, our shared purpose might be to provide a safe and loving home environment.  Leadership in that context might mean who is going to be responsible for what and when, it could be some home maintenance, it could be primary carer responsibilities and so on.  Then how we motivate and mobilise could encompass opportunities to engage with other members of our families or social groups to assist, if someone has some particular skills that could be made use of. You could resort to incentives to gain that assistance, like “if you come over and help me paint the lounge, I’ll cook you dinner”. 

What system drivers could be included in a scenario such as this? Maybe a driver for painting the lounge is because you’re putting the house on the market and you want to freshen it up for prospective buyers.  The project and performance management includes things like planning when the activity is going to take place, what you need in order for it to happen (buying paint and brushes).  The improvement tools could be as simple as a before and after photo of what the lounge looked like and how shiny and refreshed it looked after the decorating party.  Spread and adoption could extend to now you’ve decorated the lounge, how about the bedrooms and kitchen? 

But what does outstanding look and feel like?  Do you have a DIY snagging list that you can tick everything off to make sure that the walls have been painted, that the window sills and skirting boards have been done, that the doors have been refreshed?  

A rather trivial example, but you get my meaning.  It could be adopted for pretty much anything you want to change.

Taking a more philosophical approach, what does outstanding look and feel like to you as a person?  Are you the best version you could be?  By answering the other two questions, we can start to examine how we might see outstanding. 

What works well now?  What do we instinctively know is good behaviours, habits, personal attributes?  What do other people tell us?  What non-verbal feedback do we get from others that might indicate approval in what we do or say? What things can we build on or take advantage of to make our ambitions real?

On the other hand, what would be even better if….?  What has, or might prevent us from making our ambitions a reality? How could we respond differently to get a more positive outcome?  How could we be more assertive of our needs without being obstinate?  How could we be more empathetic towards others? 

What does outstanding look and feel like to you?