There is hope

All is not lost. So says Bernadette Russell in Psychologies Magazine. She even goes so far as to offer three ways of finding hope:

Set a goal – if you’re feeling overwhelmed and hopeless over a seemingly insurmountable problem, find a purpose can help by providing another focus. Think of something you’ve always wanted to do – doesn’t have to be big or cost any/much money. Could be something as simple as finishing that half-read book, running 5K, growing some herbs or a spot of DIY. Choose something that excites or interest you, something that you can look forward to doing.
Go story hunting – what’s interesting about where you live? Start with a building, a street or a name that intrigues you. Follow that lead and look into its history. Maybe you’re wondering who Tom Smith Close was names after, or why the local park was never built upon, or what that old place on the corner was originally built for. The way things look around us now has so often been shaped by local people stepping in and making things happen. It shows us positive change in living colour.
Find something to look forward to – if you have a difficult day, give yourself one thing to anticipate tomorrow, and thing about it before you go to sleep. It needs be much, a cup of tea, a catch-up with friends or a nice soak in the tub. Sometimes having even a small treat planned can deliver us through difficult days and give us hope~: “tomorrow will be better, I have this to look forward to”.

At this stage in the game, I am feeling rather hopeful and optimistic about the year ahead. I know we’ll still have things to contend with, things that from time to time will bring us down a bit, plans that don’t quite go as we’d hoped. However, I’m looking at it from an opportunity perspective. Everything that comes my way is an opportunity for me to grow, develop, evolve.

I chose not to let most things get me down. I get frustrated, annoyed, upset, sure, but it’s often short-lived, or I’ll talk myself round to thinking on a scale of 0-10 how important is it in my life. Anything less than a 7 and I’ll stop worrying about it soon enough.

I’m looking forward to putting some plans I have into action. I’m looking forward to being more confident and assertive with what I want in my life. I’m more optimistic about how I am going to respond to things and others.

I have a goal for 2022 and it revolves around improving relationships. That’s with anyone, family, friends, colleagues etc. In fact, I’ve already started putting some of it into action. Where I live has a rich history, being one of the first Roman settlements in England. Most people associate it with radio, but so much happened before that, it annoys me when people overlook that. Looking forward to small daily things is useful, for example, as I’m writing this, I’m looking forward to trying a new restaurant for brunch tomorrow.

The simple things in life can be so rewarding if we choose to look around us and find the positive. Hope is not lost.

Is #bellringing the pursuit of aimless joy?

I was reading an article about how a woman and her child walked round and round in circles in the deep snow like Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. It had no purpose, barely counted as exercise and once more snow fell they’d do it all again. Sometimes for over an hour. #bellringing can be a bit like that. We can go ringing, be it practice night, a quarter peal or peal attempt, a training day or service ringing. Sometimes #bellringing can have no real purpose but we do it anyway. When the child was asked why she was trudging in circles in the snow for ages, seemingly pointlessly, her simple answer was because it’s fun. #bellringing can be like that too!

Ask people who make sand sculptures, or balance stones, why they do that when they know their efforts will be lost to the elements, and they’ll tell you that it helps them shed stress, entertain others and in some cases “mess with people’s heads”. #bellringing can be like that too! Once we’ve rung our bells, the sound is lost for ever (unless you’ve recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube). It was transitory; there and now gone. But we do it for the fleeting joy of the activity itself.

We can spend a lot of time obsessing over personal goals and problems, feeling the weight of expectation and the fears that go with them. #bellringing can trick us into take a break from all of that. I often consider it therapy after a bad day at the office. To be able to do something physical, that requires my full attention, and stretches my brain. It can become a meditation, a moment to be in the present. When we ring with others we can feel that we are part of something bigger but it’s equally as transient as our few moments or hours of #bellringing itself.

When we think of #bellringing vanishing into the larger scheme of space and time, along with any method mistakes we may make, we needn’t be afraid to try a new bell, a new method, have a go at conducting something for the first time. In the few moments that follow, it becomes ephemeral and consigned to history.

Listen to you heart

How will you play big in the coming year? Sometimes we have no idea, our head can be filled with so many should versus our desires. What do you really want? It can feel small in comparison to everyone else. That doesn’t mean you’re afraid of putting big desires out there.

Podcast fave, Tonya Leigh, tells us that it needn’t be one big goal but a collection of smaller things you want to create and experience. The biggest act of bravery is to love what you love and want what you want.

TL says that we spend a lot of our formative years listening to other people’s opinions of what we should do in life. No one gets to decide your version of big, except you.

Of course, that won’t stop others having an opinion on that; some may think you’re thinking too big whilst others may think you’re thinking too small. Don’t allow them to project their beliefs and limitations on to you. Let them think what they want. Decide what feels true for you. It could be a solo round the world trip, or growing flowers in your garden. Your version of big will stretch, challenge and delight you.

TL implores not to chase big things but to follow your big soul. No two souls are alike. What does your soul call you to think, create and fell? It will guide you if you listen.

Want what you want unapologetically. If you want to earn £1million or you want to sell everything and live in a tent, so long as you like your reason for doing it, that is your big. You don’t have to justify it or explain it to anyone else, so long as it’s true for you.

Your definition of your big will evolve as you do. Put the effort into learning and educating yourself for what your big is at this moment.

So, what’s your big?

Set priorities for tomorrow today

Life is whizzing by at a rate of knots. This was brought home to me at the weekend when we went to visit step daughter #1 who had very recently given birth. I am now a step-granny. I have joked at being called the Wicked Step Granny or WSG for short. The fact is that apparently, I am now “old enough” to be a grandparent, albeit an arm’s length one. And I’m not sure I feel ready to be considered “old enough”.

It’s funny that even before a child is born we are making decisions about its future like what schools it might go to. Before we know it we are making decisions today that will impact our tomorrows, or those of others around us. We might live in hope that when we are “old enough” we won’t look back at those decisions and wonder about opportunities lost or time squandered.

Maybe now is a good time to consider the things that matter most to me and help me move through life by doing an inventory of priorities:

Health – eating and exercising right needs to be first and foremost. If I am not in the best health I can be, I will not be any use to anyone else. As we get older, I might have to look after aged parents, an aging husband (he’s 15 years older than me), children going through their own experiences, and now a grandchild who will need support in navigating early years before they are able to make their own decisions. I am certainly making good inroads to eating more healthily. I fantasise about exercise, but I really don’t enjoy the activity of doing it. I walk when I can, but apart from that and #bellringing, I do no other physical exercise.
Family – I keep saying I need to spend more time with family. During the pandemic this has of course been very difficult, but as we emerge, now is the time to re-engage, find reasons to spend time with loved ones, schedule fun things to do together, spend more time with those you love whilst you have the chance, and reassess those more troublesome relationships.
Self-growth – if you’ve been following my blog for a while, you will have seen me comment on this many times. I feel I have made some improvements but still a way to go.

I do need to be deliberate with my use of time. I have many roles at home, work and bellringing, which is great as it keeps me busy, but I need to stop and take time for myself every now and then. I need to be precious about my spare time.

As our todays vanish all too quickly how can we make the most of every day in order to have the best tomorrow?