How does your anxiety manifest?

In another Psychologies Magazine ten question quiz, it looked at what your worry weak spot is. How anxiety manifests for you can highlight your emotional shaky areas.

The questions covered what you notice changes in you when life gets challenging, your go to stress reliever, how anxiety makes you feel, your priority when you are calm, how others see you when you’re anxious, how you feel when you are most resilient to anxiety, what you do after a period of anxiety, what you are when at your very best, what you lose perspective on when in the throws of anxiety and what you admire about others.

My responses from the four possible choices to each question put me, but only just, into focus being the thing that is most affected by my anxiety. I’m not an overly anxious person really, I don’t think anyway, but here’s what it had to say:

“When your anxiety levels go up, you mainly struggle to keep all your plates spinning, especially if you normally only manage it by the skin of your teeth. When your life is built like a house of cards, it doesn’t take much for it to come tumbling down. Anxiety limits our ability to multitask for a reason – you need a narrow focus when you’re in survival mode. Tasks you normally fly through can take much longer, and you may find yourself stuck in procrastination mode. You might not immediately attribute your lack of focus to anxiety, and start wondering if it’s time to move on, or question whether you are up to the job at hand. This kind of anxiety is often a first sign of burnout. If you react by thinking you just need to work harder, you only make it worse.

Right now, you need to lower your expectations of yourself. Focus on one important task at a time in short chunks, broken up be restorative breaks when you do something different, like enjoy a cup of tea outdoors or by a window. You mind is telling you that it’s overloaded by are you ready to listen?”

I do have a lot going on most of the time. I have a full-time job, a full-time hobby, I’m a district officer, and Association officer, and Central Council officer, and have a family. But I like to be busy. There are times though when I recognise things are getting a little bit on top of me.

My go to response is usually to shut down and not do any of it terribly effectively, or at all. Fortunately, these bouts are few and far between, and are usually ended with a burst of efficient productivity. I will put things off on the grounds that I’m not in the right frame of mind to deal with it right now. But when I’m back on it, I’m on it with a vengeance.

I am quite good at breaking tasks down into smaller pieces of work. My process mapping type brain seems to be able to sort and filter the things that I can do now, and things that are interconnected so make sense to do at the same time, with those things that are not urgent or important, but can wait until I either have everything I need or am in the right frame of mind to deal with it, or the fallout it might generate.

How does your anxiety show up? And how do you recognise when it does?

Time for tea

An article in November’s Good Housekeeping discussed the benefits of a daily herbal cuppa. Drinking herbs that have been steeped in hot water can help boost our wellbeing, help revive, relax and boost our memory.

It works by drawing out the compounds from plants that are caffeine free, gaining their beneficial properties such as water-soluble vitamins and antioxidants. It’s super easy to make. One heaped teaspoon per mug of hot water, infuse for ten minutes, discard the herbs and enjoy. It can be a few moments of mindfulness as you draw in the smell and taste.

Different herbs have different benefits and combining some can help prevent feelings of stress, bloating, depression, can make us feel more awake, flushed, focussed, less headachy or overheated (for those of us women of a certain age).

To reduce stress – Chamomile, lavender and pink rosebuds. Use half the lavender to the other ingredients, 25g each of chamomile and pink rosebuds to 15g lavender.

To feel less bloated – fennel, peppermint and catmint. Drink after dinner, equal parts of each herb.

To reduce feeling low – Pink rosebuds, lemon verbena and lemon balm. Blend 25g of each for an uplifting feeling, clear the cobwebs and give yourself a hug.

To feel more awake – Chamomile, lime flowers and valerian. Mix in equal parts for a soothing, easy drink.

To feel less flushed – Red clover, rose and sage – 30g each of rose and sae to 40g red cover to help with those menopausal moments.

To be more focussed – Rosemary, ginkgo and peppermint – 25g each for a perkier brain.

To reduce headaches – Rosemary, peppermint, ginger and lime flower. Blend in equal parts to take the edge off the ache.

To reduce overheating – Peppermint, lemon balm and lemon peel. Mix 50g peppermint, 40g lemon balm and 10g lemon peel to cool down.

Other suggested herbs were Nettle filled with vitamins, minerals and protein for nourishing and cleansing and Elderflower to help fight colds and ease sinus problems.

The article’s experts suggested that loose tea is better than tea bags as some of the volatile oils in herbs can evaporate during the tea bagging process and they lose some of their flavour. If you’re making your own blend then try 1.2 teaspoons of herbs per person, according to taste preferences. Leaving is to infuse for five to ten minutes, but harder herbs and barks will need longer. No more than three cups per day is the recommended maximum. Fresh herbs are best as they are slightly milder flavoured but you’ll need twice the amount. Cold brew is just as good so if you prefer iced tea it won’t diminish the effects. You can of course by all the separate herbs and concoct your own blends but there is an increasing market in ready mades now.

I am not a massive tea drinker, certainly not standard black tea anyway. I do enjoy a mint tea in the afternoon and find it quite refreshing, but I’m not convinced about purchasing different blends until I’ve been able to try it without shelling out for expensive products. If someone has some I’ll try it.

What’s your favourite tea?

When your jeans don’t fit

Having just got back from a week’s holiday where we ate and drank very well, I was mildly anxious about trying to get back into my work clothes on Monday morning. I wasn’t going to deny myself the pleasures of eating out and enjoying different foods and wines. We had everything from English, French, Greek, Mexican, Italian and Indian cuisines. More often than not three courses too. I also enjoyed cocktails before dinner and wine with dinner. I was on holiday. I wasn’t going to spend it calorie counting. I’d put on about 6lb, which was about what I’d expected, knowing full well that when we got back home, I’d be back to calorie counting and being more careful what I eat.

I must admit, I was rather glad when the trousers I’d picked out to wear to work didn’t cut off the circulation. A little snugger than usual, but I could breathe.

I know that on my return to routine, I’ll get back to that sweet spot when I experience the flow of life, where I’m eating the right things in the right amounts. There was no need to spiral into doom, gloom and despair. It’s about learning to be comfortable in your own skin, even when there’s a little bit extra around the middle. If the trousers didn’t fit, I’d simply change the outfit.

In order to find that sweet spot, podcast favourite Tonya Leigh suggested that we need to be honest and respectful of ourselves. What happens in our own mind is the worst thing that can happen if we let it. It would be impossible to get back to that sweet spot if we thing of not getting into our jeans as a failure. We need to recognise that our bodies fluctuate and see it as a sign that we need to get back in touch with our body and tweak one thing at a time, rather than try to tackle it full on.

Getting to the sweet spot requires self-awareness and curiosity. If we’ve fallen off the wagon, TL suggested asking yourself the following questions:

What’s been going on?
What have you neglected?
What do you need to let go of?
What do you need to add?
What are you going to do next?

Often its about more than just food but with a new awareness and a few simple tweaks we can get back on it quickly. TL suggested that everything you desire lives within your sweet spot. It doesn’t have to be a struggle to find it. You can’t live in it 100% of the time; life has its ups and downs. It can be fun to explore and be curious about yourself. It can take a lifetime of practice to get there. Everyone’s sweet spot is different but when you get there you can be energised full of passion and excitement and can be unstoppable (if you want to).

TL concluded that living in the sweet spot required elegance, an internal sophistication of confidence and mindset.

I am confident that by the end of the week, I’ll have lost most, if not all of that holiday gain as I’ll be back in the zone of opting for healthier foods, I’ll certainly be drinking less and not having three course meals every evening. I’ll be back in my sweet spot by the weekend.

What does your sweet spot look like?

Focus on what’s important, right here, right now

I am conscious that I have lost focus on a number of topics recently. I have not been on the ball with #bellringing activities, and some elements of work life have drifted a bit. I have been somewhat overwhelmed with other thoughts about an upcoming task that requires my full commitment, hence taking two days off work for it, and the importance of getting it right.

What is this task that has you so perplexed you ask? My brother’s wedding cake. I have made plenty of cakes before, I have made multiple tiered cakes before, and I have (even if I do say so myself) done quite a decent job of them. But there is something about this one that has me anxious.

I expect its just because it’s a three-tiered wedding cake, so it has to be perfect. I have been given a brief to follow, whereas other cakes I’ve made have generally been of my own design and choosing, mostly because the recipient doesn’t know they’re getting it so anything goes really. This time it has to be specific.

I am perfectly prepared, in fact have already done the non-edible elements ahead of time. I have two days off work to create the cakes and cover. They don’t require any additional embellishment so a straightforward enough job. I just want it to be perfect for my brother and his wife.

There has also been anticipation of the arrival of a new member of the family. One has become a step-grandparent! I shall be known by my name rather than Granny or Nanna or whatever, the child has enough of those already. Baby has now arrived and hopefully we will get to see baby, mummy and daddy soon enough. I am sure there are others rushing up immediately, but we’d prefer to give them a chance to get used to the idea, get home and settled before we pounce.

So, once this next week or two is out of the way, I shall need to refocus of #bellrinigng activities. There is lots coming up that needs attention and support and I have to remember that not everyone is having the same stuff going on as I do so their timelines and mine might be different. All I can say is that I’ll do what I can over the next couple of weeks and then I’ll be on it like a hot potato again.

For now, I am focussing on what is important in my world which means that something in your world might not get as much attention from me as it ought.

In the meantime, please bear with.