Tag: #

When did you last tend to the details?

Image by RÜŞTÜ BOZKUŞ from Pixabay

Ernest Hemmingway said something along the lines of “everyone’s life ends the same way, it’s the detail of how they lived and died that distinguishes one person from another”.  We can be so busy with life, work, college, business, going to the gym, hobbies, trying to change ourselves and the world around us that we can forget what we truly crave, the beauty of what is found in the detail of life.

You guessed it, I’ve been listening to Tonya Leigh (I swear that I’ll change channels soon) again, who suggested that the details can be small, simple things like putting on some lippy, enjoying a good book, or cup of tea, the beauty of fresh flowers, coffee and cake with friends, art, a glass of good wine, enthusiastic conversation about something you’re passionate about, or even quiet time alone.  Beauty is found in the details of how you live, making time for those special moments.

TL offered that whilst its fine to have an eye on the bigger picture, driving ambition and success over time and quality can make us almost afraid to stop and appreciate the simpler things in life, like a beautiful sunset.  We’re often racing around to get the next thing done instead of taking notice of what’s right in front of our eyes.

When we decide to tend to the details of everyday it requires discipline, but can lead to a beautiful life.  We need to break the habit of saying we’ll get round to it one day, or we’re too busy, or it doesn’t really matter. This is something I’m guilty of.  The “I’ll get round to it eventually” and thinking that there’s so much to do and get done that I’m too busy to take time to achieve any of it.  I need to tackle one small detail at a time and before you know it, the rest will follow.  Prime example is that I decided to make my side of the bedroom less industrial.  My bedside table is full of jewellery boxes, glasses cases, old watches I no longer wear and a jumble of stuff.  I got as far as buying myself a statuette (fake bronze but never mind) with the idea of clearing the table of all that stuff and just having a beautiful statuette there, elegant and romantic. 

So far, the statuette has arrived and is still in its box.  I could have made a start on clearing space last weekend but didn’t get round to it, instead I sat reading, or catching up on things having just returned from holiday.  You could argue that sitting reading and catching up on things was tending to some details but it didn’t feel like I’d achieved anything towards my goal.  I need to break that habit of “I’ll get round to it one day” and just do it. 

Taking attention to the details, slowing down and appreciating things, can inspire us and those around us.  People will appreciate the time you offer to truly be with them.

What is the one small detail you’ll tend to this week?

How to increase the chances of your article being read

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

How many times have you seen the subject heading of an email, an article, or newsletter and dreaded opening it or reading on, because you can already imagine what it might contain?  Or just by looking at the subject heading decided not to open it at all and hit the delete key?

A number of people I connect with write on behalf of their local organisation, particularly in #bellringing circles.  They may need to write an email to their members, or their wider community to engage with activities, or recruit new ringers.  They may want to write an article in the local newsletter, or their Association newsletter, or even for The Ringing World.

Carole Seawert came up with some top tips on how a great subject line could increase the chances of your email, article or newsletter being read:

1) engage curiosity – Don’t open this email.  How many times have we heard the story of if you want some news spread write “confidential” on the top and leave it by the photocopier?  That’s a sure fire way for everyone to have heard about it, right?

2) engage FOMO – fear of missing out.  “Only 2 spaces left”. “Last chance”. “Offer closes today”.

3) pain points and a solution – “veggie food your kids will love.”

4) enticing special offers – priority access etc.

5) helpful resources – 10 top tips on how to get your article read.

6) short cut solutions – learn who to write engaging content in 2 minutes.

7) personalise – “John, here’s something you won’t want to miss”.

8) include effective key words like “congratulations”, “upgrade” and “ thank you”

9) pose a question that inspires further enquiry – “do you want a 2 for 1 offer on xxx”?

10) KISS – keep it short and simple. No more than fifty characters.

I am not a fan of numbers 1, 7 and 9 personally.

Unless the email was from a colleague or someone I knew was probably messing about, if I received an email that said “Don’t open this email”, I would think “OK then” and delete it straight away.

Number 7 implied some kind of pre-existing relationship, which may be ok with some people but I still wouldn’t expect my name to be in the subject heading.  If I don’t know the person or the organisation, I would not be impressed that they were trying to engage on first name terms.  Someone came to the door canvassing once and called me by my full first name, which was on the electoral role, but a name that I never go by, so I corrected them and said “that’s Mrs C…… to you”. They did not know me had no right to expect any level of intimacy.

If I received an email or saw an article posed in the way number 9 suggested, as it is a closed question my response would be a simple “no”, regardless of what was on offer, and again, I would delete it straight away.

Clearly some of Seawert’s suggestions were targeted at sales so may not be relevant in the circumstances I would be writing for, but there were some useful points to consider.

Charismatic as a cabbage

Some people just have it.  The poise, the confidence, the strong measured voice using well-chosen words in a relaxed tone, they look and sound the part.  They are indeed charm personified. They have “it”, that charisma that captivates and positively influences and connects to others on a physical, emotional and intellectual level. https://www.success.com/7-qualities-of-the-most-charming-people/

This week’s interesting read from Success Magazine offers 7 qualities that people with charisma possess and why it is important to try to emulate them:

  1. They smile, sit or stand up straight, look people in the eye when they’re talking, instead of slumping or keeping a straight face all the time.  Their body language gives out unconscious positive signals.
  2. They can distil complex ideas into simple messages and don’t over complicate things, and are therefore more persuasive.
  3. They have the innate ability to speak well and articulate their ideas well without preamble or waffle.
  4. They are active listeners, making others feel special and heard.
  5. They notice time and space and ensure that they are on time to meetings and provide the right time and space for a conversation.
  6. They build rapport by adapting to others’ personalities.
  7. They have something to say.  Being great at listening and being persuasive doesn’t count if you have nothing to say.

We have come to expect more from people, we want them to be more understanding, empathetic, to empower others.  Someone with charisma sees all problems as solvable and encourages others to step forward. 

Sadly the article doesn’t offer advice or suggest ways for those of us with less charisma as to how we might improve.  And some of these things would be more difficult to achieve if you were more of an introvert. 

In a separate article, the same magazine does offer ways to develop your charisma https://www.success.com/6-ways-to-unlock-your-charisma/

  1. Be attentive, if you find your mind wandering during the dullest of meetings, pull it back and be present in the present.
  2. Put people before rank.  Engage with the person, not their job title.  Take time to see the person within.
  3. Be curious, ask questions, listen and be positive, draw people out and engage in a proper conversation with them.
  4. Be aware of your tone of voice, friendly facial expression, open gestures and fully facing someone you’re having a conversation with.
  5. Empower others by sharing a personal experience of your own.  Give it that personal touch.
  6. Be self-aware and don’t try to manipulate a connection.  Others will see straight through it.

I know for sure that my face tends to give away too much if I’m bored by someone’s conversation, or I think they’ve said something ridiculous.  Either that, or I go stony faced and have no expression at all and then people have no idea what I’m thinking and it unnerves them. I probably waffle a bit sometimes, other times I want to get to the point and move on.

 I do try to be a good listener but there are certain subjects that my brain just totally switches off from, like sport and try as I might to be interested for the sake of others, I just can’t do it. Its all too easy now to be on a Zoom call, looking like you’re looking at the screen and paying attention, but all the while your reading emails or doing something else.  A particular skill if you can touch type.

I guess on the charismatic scale of 0-10 I’m probably about a 2, about as charismatic as a cabbage (apologies to cabbages everywhere).