13 Ways to build strong relationships

I was reading an article by YEC (Young Entrepreneurs Council) about 13 key traits to have strong professional relationships, and as I was reading, thought this wasn’t just about professional relationships, this is about all relationships.

YEC wrote about the need for strong relationships as key to business and career success, but the challenge of building relationships in the social media era means that our digital relationships can be superficial. We should aim to establish and cultivate deep and meaningful relationships with the people in our lives.  YEC members came up with the following essential traits for strong and meaningful relationships, and I think we can apply these to all our relationships in all areas of our lives, so replace each mention of clients and business with friends, family and colleagues, you’ll see what I mean:

“1. Empathy – Understanding where the other person in the relationship is coming from and what they’re feeling is important to any strong relationship. You can’t fix everyone’s problems or try to change them, so instead, it’s important to just listen and be there for them.

2. Vulnerability – The most essential trait of a strong and meaningful relationship is vulnerability. Relationships based on vulnerability are positive, judgment-free and improvement-oriented. Trust, communication, love and other important relationship characteristics come from vulnerability.

3. Respect – If you do not respect your friends or your clients, you most likely won’t give those people your “all” when it counts. You only get what you give, and in order to receive respect, you need to demonstrate it to others as well. This is true in establishing a rapport with clients, as much as it is in maintaining an intimate relationship.

4. Real Face Time – Online communication tools like FaceTime and Skype enable us to see and talk to anyone instantly on the other side of the world. However, the relationships that are the strongest are ones where we see each other in person. Because it takes more work to meet in the offline world, it signals to the person that they are important.

5. A Giving-First Mentality – One trait of strong business relationships is providing something of value before asking for something. Far too often these days, folks just want others to give and give without offering anything in return. This will not build a meaningful relationship. Plus, when you’re the first to offer up something of value, you’re much more likely to have your request for help fulfilled.

6. Unique Perspective – The strongest and most meaningful relationships offer a unique perspective. Thanks to our long history together, these individuals provide context for my actions and motivations. They can help us realize how we’ve changed, how we haven’t changed and what’s really important in life.

7. Intent – We’ve all met that person who is eager to misunderstand you no matter how much you explain yourself. And then there’s the other person who will understand you without you having to say a word; this is because they know your intent is good. Strong and meaningful relationships start with good intent.

8. Hard Work – Strong relationships don’t maintain themselves. They require a commitment by both people to make an effort and to set aside time to engage with each other. This is as true of business relationships as it is of personal relationships. Lasting business relationships are built through active engagement and a commitment to going the extra mile.

9. Honesty – Your first instinct or impression is usually right, and the cornerstone to a meaningful relationship is always honesty. Never be afraid to tell your team or co-workers your honest opinion. Too often, businesses slip into a culture of gossip and phony smiles. Clear communication built on a foundation of honesty is essential.

10. Challenge – In business especially, you need to have relationships with people that are challenging—not where they push back on everything you say, but in the way that they challenge you to think differently and try new things. This can inspire healthy competition, and it’ll keep you on your toes and always striving to be better.

11. Value – When developing relationships in business, you must lead with value. “How can I add value to you and your business?” When you ask this question and commit to it before asking for anything for yourself, you are demonstrating, through action, that you are more concerned in building a strong relationship than getting someone out of it for yourself. Leading with this mentality can take you far.

12. Conscientiousness – It’s important to be conscientious and know what page the relationship is on. We tend to have a bank account of credits between each other, and we deposit and withdraw those credits. How present are you with your partner’s feelings? Be aware of tension between you, and have honest and open communications about that.

13. Friendship – All relationships require vulnerability, attention and care, but a genuinely meaningful one is built on a solid foundation of friendship. Beginning your relationship with a client, a peer or even people in your personal life with these building blocks up front will set you up for a trusting and long-term connection.”

See what I mean?