It’s ok not to be perfect

Try telling that to a perfectionist!  We all have lists of flaws we measure ourselves against that can take over other traits.  We ask ourselves do I talk too much, am I too sensitive, am I doing enough, happy enough, am I meeting my own high expectations of myself?  This month’s Woman & Home magazine offered some suggestions on how we can be kinder to ourselves and accept our success regardless of our imperfections.

Live in the present – be honest with yourself and understand who you are rather than who you think you are supposed to be.  Make a decision that you are enough and focus on what you have now rather than fixate on a future fantasy ideal.  Find the balance between ambition and appreciation by celebrating the little wins.

Let down your walls – we all have a flawed personality that might try to tame but our needs, feelings and opinions are just as valid as anyone else’s. If we keep trying to people please and holding back in case other people don’t like it, we’ll end up very lonely.  Experiment showing vulnerability by picking one or two trusted friends to confide in, and tell them how you are really feeling.  Make your own needs a priority and stop ignoring yourself to please others.

Challenge your inner critic – when you hear your inner critic, make a note of those thoughts and learn to unpick and question them.  Reframe thoughts as they happen.  Cultivate positivity to enable you to turn your inner critic into your inner cheerleader and flip negative thoughts into positive ones.  Focus on those things that have gone well.  When you hear negative chatter tell it to stop and dispute the evidence and give it a good grilling.

Adjust your expectations – instead of needing to feel popular we should be truly faithful to ourselves.  Instead of falling into a comparison trap about what you should have, use your own compass to navigate life and regain control of thought patterns.  Set your own standards, choose different benchmarks for success and identify small achievable goals.  Learn to fail. Shift how you think of failure and see it as an opportunity to learn.  Revise your expectations.  Real life doesn’t always go to plan and we have to overcome obstacles.  This is where we’ll find strength and a sense of accomplishment.

Flaws can be flags – our perceived flaws can be a prompt to highlight feelings that need to be addressed.  Our feelings can leave us feel unworthy of the good things in life.  Remind yourself that feelings aren’t facts.  Reframe your guild or whatever flaw is holding you back.  Address the guilt, consider what the belief is and what you have actually done/not done.  Hold yourself accountable but with compassion and perspective.  Change the way you think about it or talk about it until you can let it go.

Time to reign in the perfectionist and reframe my flaws.