Tag: #truth

How reliable is our memory?

Image by Sayeed Sabit Zihan from Pixabay

I have a rubbish memory at times.  I can recall things that happened months or even years ago, but often can’t remember what happened yesterday.  There are also incidences where someone recalled something that happened when we were all younger, but I remember it differently, or not at all.  According to Sheila Marie Orfano’s TED talk this is because as we form memories, we interpret visual information influenced by our own previous experiences and unconscious biases, and when we recall it we tend to reshape it in either a more positive light, or negative way, depending on our own feelings about the memory. Typically recalling with embellishment instead of the original experience.

The Rashomon effect argues there is no singular, objective truth to memories, offering different but equally conceivable versions of the same event. It is often recited in trials to discredit testimonies of eye witnesses. It can also explain the impact on public perception of national or global events.

In 20 years’ time will we remember this pandemic as a time when communities came together to support each other and clapping on our doorsteps for the NHS?  Or will we remember it as a time when we were restricted by movement, being kept away from our loved ones, or getting angry about those who seemed to have ignored the health guidance?

When we hear from certain generations they recall times in “the good old days” and how things were better than they are now. Is that actually true or do people recall memories through rose tinted glasses? Are there those who are predisposed to look at life in an overly optimistic view? Are there those who do the opposite?  Who is to say which is the real truth, or maybe they all are?

If someone tells you their version of the truth of an event, given their own biases and experiential influences, it may already be a version of the truth, and add the listeners experiences and biases, by the time the story has been retold a number of times, does it bare any resemblance the original?  It’s a bit like playing Chinese Whispers where a simple message is whispered from person to person along a line of people, then the person at the end of the line retells the message they heard to see if it was the same as the original message. Of course there are those in the line who might deliberately change the message in order to change the outcome.

In the same way there might be some people who change what they believe to be the truth either to show things in a better, or worse light, either for them or others.  Do people remember things in a deliberate way to block out having to remember the actual truth?

Sometimes people embellish the truth simply because the truth is boring and they want to bring some excitement to the story.  There’s a difference between an out and out lie verses making a story more attractive by adding fanciful detail.  Some embellishment can be harmless as its only intended to make the story more interesting rather than having an intent to deceive. 

The truth hurts when it makes us confront something we have denied, or leaves us feeling exposed to our own failings, but isn’t that how we learn, or is it better to hear a version of the truth?

Liar, Liar, pants on fire

Just doing another one of those short tests on the Psychologies Magazine website.  This time on how honest are you?  Sometimes I think I’m too honest for my own good and it can cause offence, but if you’re going to ask me if you butt looks big in that outfit, and I think it does, then I’ll tell you.  If you didn’t want a truthful answer, then don’t ask the question.  Sometimes, it is better to be economical with the truth but I personally don’t like being lied to and I try my utmost not to do it to anyone else.

Instead of the usual 10 questions, this test had 16, ranging from what you would tell a friend or partner about something that they’d bought, if you didn’t like it, to whether you’d confess to a driving accident whilst being on the phone or not going to see a friend or relative because you really don’t feel like it, but can’t bring yourself to tell them.

No surprises, but my results were:

You hate to lie

People who are good liars frighten you. You don’t admire them and you would even go as far as to say they’re dangerous. Their lack of morals shocks and worries you. You are the opposite. Your watch words are transparency and truth. You try to prove as often as possible that you are completely trustworthy. You reserve the right to say whatever you need to say, whether or not it pleases others. It’s courageous of you to be as honest as you are, but your quest for authenticity can sometimes come across as intransigence. You tend to be stubborn and demand that others share your values. Diplomacy is a good quality to have, and it demands a certain attitude to the truth – one that you have difficulty with. You fear lies because you don’t like the idea of someone lying to you. Are you afraid of being led down the garden path? Perhaps it brings back experiences from your past that you would rather forget. Lying is certainly not a positive thing, but perhaps lies could add nuance to your arguments or dress up reality when you want to be humane and not cause too much pain.

I wouldn’t have the brass nerve to say that I didn’t do something when I did, it would be my luck that there’s CCTV footage or something that proves that I did.  Someone at work reversed into my car whilst I was stationary and when we both put insurance claims in, she suddenly accused me of driving in to her.  Even filling out the forms I felt like I was being accused, even though I was absolutely telling it how it was.  Of course the CCTV camera didn’t actually cover that part of the car park, and it was dark so no one else saw it, but did she also not hear me beeping the horn as I saw her coming at me?  That prompted me to get dashcams, front and back, for my car.  No one’s going to try that one again.

I do appreciate that sometimes it’s better to be economical, but in those circumstances I try not to say anything at all. Or if pushed I might say something like “well, its not my cup of tea but if you like it, that’s all that matters”. 

I’m reminded of the line in the film The Nativity by the catholic priest talking to the teacher (which you have to say in an Irish accent) “a lie, is a lie, is a lie”.