Drifting away with the fairies

Image by 3333873 from Pixabay

As a child I dreamt of far-away lands, parallel universes where a different me was living a different life, of places and people that didn’t exist anywhere but in my head. Sometimes those dreams felt so real I could almost imagine them to be true.

We tend to get out of the habit of daydreaming as we grow older.  Perhaps because it might be considered childish, a waste of time, and lacking focus, and has no visible outcome. Adult life is about productivity, achievement, and focus. 

According to Anita Ghosh in Red Magazine, researchers are increasing understanding of daydreaming and how it boosts creativity, pain tolerance and conversely productivity.  Daydreamers were found to be more refreshed and focuses after letting their minds wander, increasing their productivity when they returned to work.

Daydreaming activates a part of the brain associated with memory, introspection, and rest.  Without the confines of the external world pushing to think in a certain way, we can generate an internal model to solve problems and reimaging solutions.

Daydreams are different to manifesting, the practice of thinking aspirational thoughts with the goal of turning dreams into reality.  Daydreaming is enjoying the prospect of thinking and having appositive experience that ca be almost meditative.

Daydreams is categorised into unintentional, where daydreaming occurs when you don’t want it to, interrupting our focus, whilst intentional daydreaming is the practice of allowing our mind to wander deliberately and with purpose. Intentional daydreaming can be further broken down into focused and unfocused. Focused daydreaming involving an overarching narrative which you regular and guide your imagination by.  Unfocused doesn’t settle on specific scenarios and has potential to be more enjoyable.

When we let our minds wander, we think about things we wouldn’t ordinarily think about. It gives us a chance to stretch our creative boundaries.  Here are five tips for better daydreaming:

  1. Create space – modern life takes so much of our time being absorbed in technology and doing “stuff”.  Schedule in five minutes every day to daydream.
  2. Work on it – we are more likely to daydream when our minds are less occupied.  Things that you could do on autopilot but are stimulating enough to allow your mind to wander, are best.
  3. Dream big – when you daydream in fantastical ways, or meaningful ways, you tend to be more creative, inspired, and happier.
  4. Prime your mind – it can be hard to enjoy daydreaming but prepare with prompts that will guide you to positive thoughts.
  5. Practice makes perfect – intentional daydreaming requires thinking in one mode for prolonged periods, which can be difficult.  If you find yourself wandering off to negative thoughts, gently bring yourself back using your prompts.

I do still daydream about what life would be like if xyz happened, but not to the extend that I’m jealous of those who have that lifestyle.  I can take moments to stare out of the window with no purpose at all, other than to take five minutes to watch the birds at the feeder, or the clouds flitting across the sky, whilst I mull over a problem.

I think so long as it doesn’t become a place to avoid what’s going on around you, but you use it as a place to help your make sense of all of that, it doesn’t do any harm.

Dare to dream

When you were younger did you have a big dream of who or what you wanted to be when you were older?  I didn’t.  I never really had a calling or particular interest.  I never felt I wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, nurse, pilot, or astronaut.  Those things just didn’t occur to me.  So much of what we want depends on other people, especially when you are younger, when where we live and what early experiences we are exposed to can shape our lives.

When you’re struggling in survival mode it can be difficult to think beyond where you are. Dreams are still there though.  You may try to bury them as something that will never happen and at some point you’ll be reminded of what you once dreamed of.

Podcast fave Tonya Leigh suggested that as you grow older you start to doubt your dreams are possible as you start to experience self-doubt and look for all the reasons why it can’t happen.  When you haven’t dreamed for so long, it’s easier to start small.  If your dream is to become healthier, maybe starting with some short walks, building up to more exercise or eating healthier.  It’s the committed to showing up, the more you do the more confident and empowers you become, from which momentum builds.

With big dreams comes big doubt and uncertainty.  If you want to create something that doesn’t exist right now it’s going to be uncomfortable.  TL said that dreams served two purposes:

  1. They are the roadmap to your destiny and everyone’s is unique.
  2. They grow you.  To create something you’ve never had you must become someone you’ve never been. They are there to help you evolve.

You’ll have all sorts of limiting beliefs along the way.  This is your mind’s attempt to keep you where you are because it likes the predictable familiar.  You must be willing to step into the unknown.

When you’re old and look back on your life, how do you want to feel about the risk you took?  Did you follow your dreams or your doubts? What if you were willing to allow yourself to want what you want unapologetically?  What if you stopped feeding and listening to the doubt?  Life could be full of possibilities and opportunities to grow.  Life could be exciting and lead you to the life you once imagined.

TL implores you to be committed to feeding your dreams not our doubts and not let the impossible scare you.  To see how much you can expand and create, how much joy you can experience.  Her parting words were to be clear, determined, passionate and committed.

I wouldn’t say I dream about a life I might want, but I probably fantasise about it, often with rose tinted glasses, but I know realistically that however hard I might want something, that’s not going to make it happen.  I have to put in the work to create it.  I’m in the process of ensuring that if I’m lucky enough to live long enough, I will retire early and live a comfortable life with no money worries, hopefully not too many health worries, and knowing that I gave everything I did my all.  I’ll never have the luxury life of a flash car, a penthouse, a jet setting lifestyle, and I’m not sure I’d want it for ever.  Might be nice to try it out once though, then get back to the real world.

I don’t have career ambitions.  I’ve evolved into my current role through ability and hard work, but I have no desire to climb corporate ladders.  I am happy where I am, and feel that I’ve probably reached my limit of where I want to be, so now its building the things necessary to be comfortable with what I have.  I guess my dream now is to have a contented life with security and freedom in my later years, without drama.

Did you ever have a big dream?  Have you fulfilled your dreams already?